I'm currently in high school, I've known I was gay/bisexual ever since i could remember but i never came around to telling my parents about it, i thought they knew. They don't, and my entire family thinks I'm straight as a board. some of the members of my family are homophobic and probably will not act to positively if i tell them. i know its important to come out and not be ashamed but i currently cannot find a place to stay if i get kicked out or treated poorly. for now I'm playing it safe in the closet at home and at school I'm about half way out. mostly my close friends and fellow gays at school know, the rest don't. I've been criticized that i should just come out and have it over with, but playing it safe will keep my family from treating me different. what should i do?
I think it's perfectly fine for you to play it safe in order to keep yourself safe from harm, from losing your living arrangement and from possible backlash from homophobic family members. I don't see that as being ashamed of who you are. That's protecting yourself from a possible very bad situation. While others may tell you to just get it over with, only you know the full extent of the situation you're dealing with. So only you should get to decide who to tell and when.
I don't think anyone would tell you that you have to come out, particularly if you're afraid you might be kicked out and have no support network in place. It's okay to wait until you're in a better situation, and ultimately the time is right for you. Congratulations for coming out to your friends, though!
Wow, I feel you pain! I think that if you are dependent upon your parents for food, shelter and clothing and telling them the truth will result in your losing those basic needs, you should keep working on improving your understanding of yourself and tell them about it once you can support yourself financially. If your parents are abusing you physically or emotionally then get some help! If later you are coming out, maybe work for some time to get your parents to understand and accept and deal with your idiot relatives a bit later, or not at all if they chose homophobia over their love for you. Concerning you friends pressuring you, don't give into that pressure. Decide for yourself, as you are working to do what is correct for you. Some of these people may have an "easier" situation at home so its not quite right for them to tell you what to do. This is not easy for anyone but we all have different issues to consider so maybe their advice to come out now is not well thought out. I think the main goal for now should be keeping a roof over head. It does not make you hypocritical. Good luck, sincerely! (&&&)
I play it safe and I don't even come from a homophobic family (though most of them know I'm not straight I don't come out and say it), with the exception of my racist, homophobic, xenophobic paternal grandmother who's really the only bigoted person in my family I know of, I steer waaaaay clear of even mentioning the "g-word" in front of her, but I only see her once a year so I don't really give a shit... the only reason I'm even nice to her is because maybe one day I'll inherit some money from the old witch. Your reasons seem sound, so stick with your gut.
Even in another situation, you dont need to come out if you don't want to. There are no rules about this. If you think it is best to stay safe, at least for now, then do it, it is perfectly fine.
