So basically I feel like I am out of the closet and open generally all the time. I have to remind myself that I am not sometimes. This honestly is the worst. I'll be going about my day and then someone will talk to me and reference something heterosexual or ask me about interest in any girls and I just spit out "not interested in anyone." I'm getting sick of having to lie about being straight; I try to be as gender neutral as possible to give some slight suspicion. I'd like to come out to someone before the end of this school year. I've decided I'd like to tell a friend first. Issues with this: -How do I know if I can trust them (I've never trusted anyone with really personal information) -I don't know if they would accept me (The ones that would 100% accept me I definitely know I couldn't trust) I'm not a very social butterfly and I'm horrible at conversation (an extended one on one conversation will kill me). It is difficult to bring up LGBT+ topics just because it would jack up the suspicion and I'm horrible at talking as is. Half of my friends are some form of Christian too... I don't know how they'd react to a gay friend. I know the whole spiel about the "if they don't accept you for who you are, they aren't your friends" thing. My issue with that is I don't have another group of friends I want to be a part of. I generally don't like a lot of the people heavily associated with LGBT+ for whatever reason. I generally don't like anyone else in general. I've picked a varied group of people to be my friends... I'm hoping I picked well enough for most of them to be accepting. Also, there's a guy a want to come out to. I've kinda had a crush on him (a very, very large crush) since April/May this year. I think he might be gay (we're friends, not very close; multiple occasions including looking straight into each others eyes and smiling when he bumped into me at an awards ceremony for a significant amount of time... I wanted to melt); I don't know if he is pro LGBT+. If he is pro LGBT+ I am going to find out how to come out to him. Only issue is I cant ask him directly or indirectly if he is supportive. We're taking AP Political Science together next semester...I'm hoping gay marriage etc. pops up. If I come out to someone else I think it needs to be a guy I would end up dating (I'm not friends with any out guys...dilemma) or a girl. I'm not comfortable coming out to a straight guy and then getting all emotional and not having anyone to hold (I am ridiculously respectful about not touching people because it may make them uncomfortable... I wouldn't try to emotionally hug a straight friend after telling him that I'm gay.) This was longer than I intended. Sorry.
Well first off let me say I understand how you must feel ! I too know what it is like to have a crush on a friend and that is a tricky spot your are in. To bad you can't find a way to see how he feels about homosexuality and you never know how he will react . He may be like ok that is cool and not have a problem at all ,he could be like I have feelings for you too ,or the worse case is he says get away from me and you loose your friendship . I can t tell you what to do on that I can only wish you luck . If it was me I would probably pick a friend that I could trust to keep the secret and if they stop being a friend then they were not a good friend anyway and you are better off with out them .I want to wish you luck and please let us know how it turns out .
