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When extended family or family friends asks about your relationship status

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Driftr, Dec 10, 2014.

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  1. Driftr

    Driftr
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    What do you say? Do you lie and say you're single or you're in a heterosexual relationship? Or do you disclose your real sexuality?

    What do your parents say too? Do they also lie or tell the truth?

    This is one thing that I just haven't been able to wrap my mind around. I'm just so nervous because my parents come from a tight-knit culture (I don't know if all cultures are like this) but people always asking about marriage and stuff. Plus my parents come from a deeply religious background so either way I'm going to be frowned down upon if I come out, or say I'm single. Nobody's going to buy into me being single for years while I hide my true love. They would automatic assume that I'm either gay or a bachelor who has casual relationships (which isn't any better because it's seen as fornication- which is hell worthy apparently-in such a heavily religious culture). I'm highly doubt they're going to buy into me being celibate too, but that could work. It's like I just can't win.

    I just feel so stuck right now. I feel like such an embarrassment.
     
    #1 Driftr, Dec 10, 2014
  2. mangotree

    mangotree
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    I don't come from a particularly religious or even cultural family but outing words still occasionally get caught in my throat. Especially with distant relatives or friends-of-friends. Practice makes perfect though, and the more you do it, the easier it becomes.
    When someone asks me "are you married?" or "when are you getting married", I would love to just easily and comfortably say "no, it's not legal here yet" or "when it becomes legal in Australia" or "when I find a husband".
    Or if someone asks "have you got a girlfriend" or "why don't you have a girlfriend yet", I would love to just off-handedly say "no, I'm gay" or "because I'm gay" or "because I bat for the other team".
     
    #2 mangotree, Dec 10, 2014
  3. aboutface

    aboutface
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    It's a tough situation to be in. I think at some point, it's important to try to get to that spot where you are secure enough in your own life and decisions that you just have to focus on that and then just be honest about things. You can try to explain how this is just part of who you are, but you can't control their reactions or attitudes.

    Assuming personal safety is not at risk, I think honesty is typically going to be the best policy even if it's not something family or others want to hear. It still beats living a double life, with the half-truths and the coverups and all that mess.
     
    #3 aboutface, Dec 10, 2014
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