I've never really said, or typed, about anything like this in the past so sorry if it doesn't make much sense or if I start to ramble on. I'm not too sure how to put my thoughts into text. Well it's worth a shot. Also, if this is not in the correct section I am sorry again. I've never really felt like a female, nor a male, but then again, I don't really know how 'feeling' like any gender may be like. Anyway, even when I was younger I guess I was questioning it. It's the same with my sexuality. Only up until recently (2 years) I've been able to put a name against the two of them, I have been doing quite a lot of research on both gender identity as well as sexuality and I do believe that I have found my matches; Agender pan-romantic asexual. I have been quite comfortable with knowing this, it set my mind to ease knowing that there are other people feeling this and that I'm not just a 'freak' or lying to myself. I've been wanting to come out as both of these for quite some time now, but I've never quite gotten the courage to say it. I've seen far too many stories of people not being accepted and horrid things happening to them due to gender and sexuality and I'm scared that it'll happen to me. The school that I am currently going to is full of many close minded people, some who may even physically harm me just because of this. I know of a few people who have got it rough because of coming out so many of them only come out to close friends, but I haven't been able to do that. The first person I told that I was asexual (I didn't mention that I'm pan-romantic) was a close friend of mine who I had been talking to online for almost two years. The things he said about it was absolutely disgusting and made me feel sick. Everything between us went downhill after that just because of my sexuality, we don't talk anymore. I'm so worried that this will happen again if I tell my friends and family. My dad is quite judgmental of those who aren't heterosexual and cis gender, he says that they make him sick. I've also had quite a few conversations with my mum about these topics, and she's says that she's fine with it, but whenever we go clothes shopping she seems to be concerned with my purchases, also with my Halloween costume I was dressed as a male character and she was also quite hesitant about that. I don't want to let them down, and I want them to accept me. I don't know what to do. I'm not happy with how it is right now, I don't want to stay like this. But if I do come out I feel like everything will change, for the worse and I also don't want that to happen. If anyone has any tips on what to do, please help.
In my situation , I first told my friends that i was extremely close to . We were in a group so the first person i ever told that i was gay was a girl and till now , she's still the most supportive person that ive met and at that moment , the weight on my shoulders just got lifted . The burden i had had been lifted and it was the best feeling i have ever felt . But i wont recommend just coming out straigjt away , its a slow process but hell once its done , its the best feeling (i just realised that im repeating myself :/ ) . So what i did was i asked her how she felt about my orientation and you know the person is a good person if she/he would accept any sexual orientation. And if she/he is fine with it then go ahead . Now , about your mother . She sounds like a good person and she seems opened minded . I would recommend you to tell her but keep it on the down low and as a mother's natural instinct to protect her child , if you were to ever have a problem , you can seek for for help. So yeah , Hopes this helps your situation , if you ever need a person to talk to just send me a pm (!) <3
