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My friend has found out that I'm gay, I'm not sure what to do now...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by SabraBoy, Dec 11, 2014.

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  1. SabraBoy

    SabraBoy
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Israel
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Sorry if my english is not accurate, it's not my native language.

    I think you should know some things about me before you'll be able to fully understand my situation (although I assume that some of you are dealing with the same problems)
    I'm fat, I've been so since I was a little boy, and that caused me to be very insecure and shy, and because of that I became a target for bullies. I walked to school every day knowing that I will be called "fat", "ugly", "stupid motherfucker" and so on...
    All this was changed when I started to learn at high school two years ago. The bullying stopped and I finally felt what it is to have friends. I also met my best friend there (I'll refer to him as E).
    Today me and E walked home after school and then he asked me if I'm gay. Just like that.
    I did not answer, but he realized that from my face. He told me he always suspected it and does not have a problem with me being gay, although he honestly admitted that it makes him feel uncomfortable.
    I'm afraid that he will decide to end our friendship and I will lose my best friend, or worse, that my classmates will find out about this.
    What is going to happen now?
     
    #1 SabraBoy, Dec 11, 2014
  2. crazyDepression

    crazyDepression
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Singapore
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family
    I think the best thing for you to do now is to confront him and i assume you dont have a crush on him? If so , tell him that . It creates space between you two and hopefully he wont be uncomfortable anymore . Im fat and insecure too and i told my friend that i was gay and till now , she's still my best friend . True friendship doesn't change despite the circumstances . I hope this helps! Good Luck :grin:
     
    #2 crazyDepression, Dec 11, 2014
  3. Spartan 117

    Spartan 117
    Admin Team Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Isle of Wight, UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It's good that he told you that he doesn't have a problem with you being gay. :slight_smile: If he guessed as much already, I'm sure he won't betray your confidence and tell others. Maybe the reason he feels uncomfortable is because he hasn't had much experience interacting with gay people. I think they best thing you can do is carry on and be yourself. That way you can show him that nothing about your friendship has to change, just because of your (now) open sexuality.
     
    #3 Spartan 117, Dec 11, 2014
  4. MissBookworm

    MissBookworm Guest

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Hogwarts, NY
    Gender:
    Female
    Out Status:
    Some people
    There's no way to tell if you two will grow apart or not, but hopefully the reason won't be your sexual orientation. One of the reasons why he may be more uncomfortable around you is the fear that you may be attracted to him. In my experience, bringing it up sooner rather than later and making it very clear that you are not attracted to them is more effective. By the way, I love your username! If you're Jewish, there are four days until Hanukkah!
     
    #4 MissBookworm, Dec 11, 2014
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