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Doubted when coming out as bi

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by SquidwardT, Dec 16, 2014.

  1. SquidwardT

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    How many of you who have come out as bi have received doubt? From family? From friends? Also, be honest how many of y'all in general doubt someone when they come out as bi for whatever reason? I know some gay people, even some bi people do. These questions seem to be especially relevant for teens and in my case, teen girls who are assumed to just be looking for attention.
     
  2. Emily1

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    I can completely relate to this! Friends think i'm doing it for attention while my family thinks i'm fully gay and just afraid to admit it. So glad that you pointed out how some gay people and even some bi people question other peoples' identification as bi. My cousin actually told my mom that bisexuality doesn't exist and that it's just a transition state from straight to gay. My thoughts are that it is hard to imagine a sexuality that is different from your own… liking the same gender is different enough, throwing in attraction to multiple genders can get people quite confused.

    ---------- Post added 16th Dec 2014 at 09:49 PM ----------

    forgot to mention that this cousin is gay himself
     
  3. stocking

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    Are people still doing this :confused: and thinking this way .
    I'm not bi but this disturbs me . Then again this explains some of the nonsense going on in the lgbt community .
     
  4. SquidwardT

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    I have heard a lot of this stuff from acquaintances and family and I am really hoping to come out to my family soon, I am just worried about dealing with this.
    I actually have a friend who identifies as pansexual (she identified as gay when this story happens) and at a school dance she made out with a girl who identifies as bi, later though she kept implying that this other girls orientation was just a phase.
     
  5. Seattlestudent1

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    First of all, a lot of people will doubt you even if you are a lesbian like me.They will say things like "it's your choice, and you can be straight if you wanted to be", or like you said "you're doing it for attention" which is idiotic to think because you cannot fake being physically attracted to somebody.That's just something that you cannot pretend, because our bodies cannot do that.
    Also, Some people that are Bisexual are exploring their sexuality and may be completely gay or a lesbian and for some it may be a transition, but that's not true for everybody.Bisexuality is not always confusion.Your mind can be confused but your body cannot be...if your body is having a chemical reaction to both sexes theres nothing confusing about that,You're bisexual which is a thing,by the way...it's a real sexuality.
     
  6. Sepulse

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    Your body can be confused as well. People with HOCD can get convinced that a sensation in their groin is arousal. HOCD often creates those sensations. HOCD did convince me I was bi for a few years.

    I had a lot of problems coming out as bi. Everyone just assumed I was a slutty or confused straight girl. When I tried coming out as gay people just thought it was a phase. I probably had trouble coming out as bi because people could sense I wasn't sure about that label.

    I mostly used it because I was scared I was secretly attracted to guys. I didn't want to be out as gay and discover I was actually bi or straight. I'm still scared of that happening. That's why I'm still mostly closeted.
     
  7. Seattlestudent1

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    HOCD, also known as Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is a form of OCD that a person has when they have a fear of unwanted thoughts that they might somehow be attracted to the same sex.
    you said it perfectly :it convinces you--that would be a state of the mind, not of the body
    so if yourbody is having a reaction to another person your body isn't confused.
     
  8. stocking

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    What so she thought she was better than her:eek:
     
  9. DawnM

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    I wish I had advice. I just know that I've dealt with this. When I came out to my mom she said that it was fine if I'm bi, BUT since I'd never had any experience with anyone I probanly didn't know for sure yet. It's annoying, but in her case I know she meant well.
     
  10. butHitlerisDead

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    I can tell some people think I'm going to come out as gay, which I get that a lot of people come out as bi before saying they are gay, but still, it's like they're calling me a liar.
     
  11. patternsofpetal

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    I came out recently, and I was honest about not being sure if I'm bisexual or a lesbian. My mother's reaction to this was that I don't need to "make excuses". It was sad really, because I do think that sexuality is more complex than just the two boxes usually available: gay or straight.
    Even if a woman who starts out by identifying as bisexual, and stwitches to lesbian later in life, it might be that she does so because she finds relationships with women more fulfilling, and thus loses interest in men. Also, many many people only realize later in life that they have the capacity in their heart to love a member of the opposite/same sex.They might have been bisexual their whole lives, but this is not what's relevant. There are countless examples of fluid sexuality.
    I mean, there is so much more to it, and I'm unable to see the genders and my desire so distinctively, that's why I think I'm a bisexual woman who's romantically more attracted to women...
    What's important is that you should feel perfectly comfortable and free to self-identify as anything that fits you right now and feels true to your heart. Nothing stays the same, and you shouldn't worry about someone who doubts you or questions you, it's simply their ignorance or inability to see how colorful sexualities can be.