hello.. I just had to write this somewhere, even for my own sanity.. I've got work I should be doing but I can't concentrate.. So, long story short.. I've been seeing someone for over 3 yrs. No-one knows. I've moved into a student house sharing with 4 new people. My other half is coming over to see the new place.... in about 2 hours!! The people I am sharing with are nice to me, they are fun, and they also take the piss quite severely out of gayness.. I wouldn't know if I would call them 'homophobic' but they certainly see it as funny if not wrong. And I know that nothing will be the same after tonight.. not in this house and not in my life.. it will be weird, not least because this isn't an announcement I have chosen to make, it's just kinda 'happening' and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I mean, I want them to know the real me, but I don't know if this is how it should happen. But then I've not had the chance/guts to tell them in the month I've lived here, so maybe it needs to happen like this. I am really scared of how they'll react, of the talking/laughing behind my back which I can't stand the thought of, and of any awkwardness it's gonna raise living here. I know that 'if they take the piss then they are not worth being friends with' etc etc, but the point is.... I have to LIVE with these people and I don't have a choice (I've paid a contract). I regret not telling them on the 1st day, but I've never told anyone so why would I have done that. And it's never come into conversation.. So here I am. And I've got so much typing to do and I just can't concentrate, this is eating me up!! Never been out and in 2 hrs my world is gonna change. Eek. sorry for sounding pathetic, and I'm not asking for answers.. just needed to get it off my chest. Maybe I can work now..doubt it though. But I'll post again when it's all over, and you can see how it went. thanks for reading.
You're not pathetic....I had issues as well telling my friends and wondering how they would react. The human mind has a tendancy of viewing the worst possible solution to a scenario, which is, most of the time, the wrong one as well. Tell them, and if they don't accept, then so what. You are you, and no one else, and you do not have to hide yourself to anyone, no matter who they are.
Well I agree with Swamp56. The mind really does create the worst case scenarios. So I hope its not as bad as you think and your friends minds will be opened with your revelation.
wow, thanks for the replies..they have helped my nerves. Yeh i know what you mean about the human mind expecting the worst, especially mine. nearly there now
Don't worry too much. I know...easier said than done! Most everyone who has come out,at all,have been through this. We are here,as your,friend and as your support. Good luck and welcome to E.C.!
Best of luck! I'm assuming it's all happening right about now for you. Let us know how it went! (*hug*)
