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Not sure it's the right time but mum is forcing coming out

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by anonym, Dec 19, 2014.

  1. anonym

    anonym Guest

    It was my birthday the other day and I felt rather guilty receiving cards and money from relatives who don't yet know I'm trans.

    The reason I haven't told them yet is because I'm simply not ready. My life is chaotic enough at the moment without having to deal with the fallout of telling more people I'm trans.

    The problem is my parents are going over to one of these relatives for a Christmas meal on the weekend and my mum is threatening to tell them because she says she is fed up of pretending. She hates having to pretend to her sister-in-law that she's happily married when the truth is she can't stand my dad and they don't get along at all but she won't ever tell them that. What she is prepared to blurt out however is that I'm trans or as she puts it, I think I'm a man. :dry:

    I feel like she is waiting to drop this bombshell so that she can burst their bubble because they don't have children and are enjoying a comfortable retirement while she is miserable. She also has a habit of outing me before I'm ready. It's almost as if she needs to tell everyone because she wants them to pity her and take her side against me. I feel like I should step in and take back control of the situation by telling them myself but when I think about it, I'm not ready and it seems unfair I have to just because my mum is desperate to out me.

    What should I do?
     
  2. Really

    Full Member

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    Remind her everyone has things they don't want others knowing, like her, ahem, bad marriage. And if she's allowed to control her information, the you should be, too.
     
    #2 Really, Dec 19, 2014
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2014