Hello everyone, I've written a post before about how I have been curious/insecure with my sexuality. Since then I've done a lot of research and self exploration and have tried to come out to myself as gay...just to see how it felt. And it doesn't feel completely right...like a coat that just doesn't fit right. I can have sexual fantasies and can be aroused by the thought of having sex with a man, but as I test the reality I find myself unable to go through with it. It's like I can have the fantasy but not actually do it in real life (like fantasies of robbing a train or whatever). A lot of stories talk of the coming out process but I'm just not sure this way is for me...And more importantly I feel as if I've been robbed of the pleasure of being with women (which I have had many times before and have enjoyed with deep emotion) and am always "numb" to them. And of course there's the subject of my ex: I was sooooo in love with her but she was very abusive and mean to me and I just feel like my heart has been torn so deeply. How can I be gay and love her SOOO much...and yet still feel numb? Hell I had a dream of her last night which I didn't want to wake up from...please help me....I'm trying to get counseling but money is tight and I don't know what else to do...and I'm so tired
You might have a look here: Am I Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, or Transgender? There is romantic and sexual attraction... and some people say they do not fall in love with a gender but a person...
Yes, yes, I do. Dude, you don't sound gay. Feeling numb, broken, empty after a massive heartbreak is normal. After my first girlfriend (girlfiend) used me to driver her to her future fiances house so she could move in with him, I didn't think I'd every find anyone. I got over it eventually. You will move on from her.
yeah, heartbreak can make you swear off women forever. But then another comes along some day, and yeehah! you're back in the saddle! Not sure about the fantasies. You could be bi, or they could just be fantasies or curiosity. Does the thought of being bi bother you? does the thought that you might just be a straight guy who had a bad relationship trouble you, or make you question your masculinity in some way? (&&&)
