Hi, I'm new to this and my thoughts are a bit scattered at the moment so please bear with me. I am a lesbian, currently attending college in Mississippi. Going into college I wanted to be completely open about my sexuality and be free to discover and be myself. However, when I got here I quickly realized that that would be harder than I thought. Because my college is in the heart of the "Bible Belt" people here are generally very very religious and extremely close minded. A perfect example would be my roommate. She is a die hard Southern Baptist and extremely self absorbed. I quickly realized that in order to avoid any discrimination or hardship I would have to keep my sexuality under wraps. So far, I haven't met any girls who happen to be lesbian. I would love to have a meaningful relationship here but in order to do so I would have to be out, at least to some people. I absolutely know that I am attracted to women, 100%. However, knowing that things would be so much easier if I was straight, every once in awhile I will think to myself "well, maybe I just haven't found the right guy". I know that this isn't the case but I still sometimes think this way. I even tried dating a guy and every time he kissed me I was very uncomfortable and almost repulsed by it. I'll talk myself into it, saying "Ok, this is the day you are going to tell somebody. You can do this. You're going to tell them you are lesbian and you'll feel so much better." But then something always happens, such as another guy liking me or someone saying something religious, and i'll think to myself "well, maybe I should wait. What if this guy could be the one" and I end up chickening out of telling people. In my heart I know I am a lesbian, I just don't know how to stop myself from thinking this way. And I don't know how to come out. So far only my 3 of my best friends know. I don't want to hide anymore. I want people to know. I'm just so afraid of the potential repercussions. Any advice would be appreciated.
Fear is a powerful motivator... Powerful enough for someone to marry someone they are disgusted by. As for actually coming out... I almost think It would be best not to, in a situation like that.
Is there an LGBT club/association of any sort at your uni or in your community? I'm certain there are other LGBT people at your school, its a matter of finding them. I think with that, you'd feel you had more of a support system in place and could possibly feel safer coming out. Please - don't even go down that road of trying to persuade yourself that you're something you arent.
Hello, WhiteFlag! I agree with Melanie in that there might be even just a small LGBT group in your college, or maybe in the general area. Personally, I don't think you really have to come out to people in school, simply because you're there for an education. I don't know if this will work for you, but for me it helped a lot that I made extra effort to excel in school--be active in a college org, or even volunteering to do part-time work in one of the offices in school. Because I realized that once people see that we're contributing a lot to the college community, it becomes easier to get support from people once we decide to come out. But, as a start, it does help to find an LGBT group. All the best!
this is so true... It is the story of my life. please don't go down that path. you can make yourself do it out of fear, and you will damage yourself deeply, and you won't be doing any favors for the guy you get involved with. It will shake his own feelings of self worth as he tries to figure out what is wrong with him that he repulses you. Definitely look for the LGBT support groups or Gay/Straight alliances on campus. if nothing like that exists, can you look to transfer to a college that is more gay friendly? One thing for sure though is that Bible belt or no, there are gays and lesbians in Mississippi just like in every other place on planet earth. The problem we have is finding each other so that we can support each other, but unless you're at a Baptist college, there really should be something. :newcolor:
