I'm not sure how to work this, I'm never on any types of forums but I need help. Let me tell you my story. I realized I was lesbian when I was about fourteen, but I had "homosexual tendencies" before, if that makes sense. It was weird knowing, especially because I lived in Pennsylvania — I know, not really a homophobic place, but the people there weren't as tolerant as I hoped. I mean, my parents are very, very faithful in God. I came out to my best friends in sophomore year, and although they found it surprising, they just kept telling me that they supported me. I kept quiet from the rest of the school, though. I moved out of the house to pursue my dream when I was 16, the summer after junior year. This led me to live in Los Angeles, my dream city, with someone who would later become my girlfriend. I came out to her a few days after my seventeenth birthday, and once again, she was someone who hugged me and told me they supported me. We had a great conversation about both our sexualities after (I laughed and fell for her that night). Don't get me wrong, I love hearing that they supported me, but there was always something wrong with telling everyone and it was weird. The more I told people, the more I felt it. I'm eighteen now, living with three other people (including my girlfriend). I realized that I still haven't came out to the most important person in my life -- My mom. My dad'll find out eventually, I just don't see him when I go back because he doesn't live in Pennsylvania. I don't know how my mom would take it, and I don't really know how to start a conversation with her. Sorry if I'm over-explaining things, I'm just reeeally nervous. I'm going back to Pennsylvania for the holidays with my girlfriend, then we're going to Indiana, where her perfectly accepting parents live. :icon_sad: I just need to come out to my mom, because then I'll feel actually okay... I just don't know how to do it, or what I'm going to say. I don't know why it was so easy with everyone else and why I waited so long to come out to my mom, but I'm terrified, especially of what she'll think of my girlfriend :/ I am grateful for anyone who helps.
I'd ask her this, personally- If, when you first fell in love with dad, everyone told you that you were wrong for feeling that way? How would you deal with it?
Hello, jxp! I don't know if this will help, but... Maybe in your next conversations with mom, you can talk about Ellen Degeneres. If your mom likes Ellen, then I think it'll be easier for you to come out to her. (Because, there are very religious people who are actually cool with homosexuality. Your mom might be one of them.) If your mom hates Ellen because of the whole lesbianism thing, then you might want to hold back for a while. When I was in high school, I told myself, "I'm going to be the best I can be and make my family so proud of me that my being gay won't matter." And that's what happened. Maybe it will work for you. All the best!
well, I would say that I am very faithful in God, and that I believe that means that God loves me, and that he wants us all to love one another, no questions asked. In fact, I think that God loves me so much that he wanted to do something really special for me, so he made me gay. As far as all the hatred and hard times out there, well, I'm sure he's had his share of that as well. as far as your mom, who you say is very faithful to God, if that means that she takes a narrow minded approach to things like homosexuality based on some misconstrued religious teachings, the let's hope that finding out that her love for her daughter opens her up for a change of mind. If that is what weighs heavy on you, I can understand. I love the post that suggests you ask if everyone accepted her loving your father, and then telling her. something else I would do is to write it all out in a letter to her. A letter that you may or may not send. You might like it so much that you want to mail it to her. or you might just use that as a way to get it out, so that when you see her and tell her, you feel like you've been there and done that before, and it ain't quite such a big deal. or like I suggested to someone else, you could always send her a text, "mom, I'm gay. I love you. wanna talk?" and see how she responds. you've kind of been on your own for a couple years, so I suspect you're stronger than a lot of women your age. good luck!
