I've a confession to make...

Awe, Jay. It's good that you can come out and say it. It's not an easy thing to do.
Thing is... I have done self-harm as well.

If you need anyone to talk to, or need any help, just PM me. I'll help anyway I can.
It's not a fun thing to go through, and you shouldn't have to do it alone.

(*hug*)

 

"The first step to beating a problem is admitting you have one."

 

*group hug everyone*

I used to self harm
I stopped
And started again
And stopped
And I don't plan on going back

 

(*hug*)

We're all here for you Jay, and hopefully you're on the road to beating this.

 

jay, u have admitted there was a problem and so you've taken the first step. we are all here for you and you are going to be strong enough to beat it. (*hug*)

 

I don't do self harm and I wont you are who you are.

 

Hi Jay.
You're definitely not alone - look at all the posts from people who have admitted to this! I too, used to self harm. I was very depressed and in a very sad and unhealthy place. But I got through it - I got over it - I haven't cut myself in more then two years now. So I know you can do the same.

Now that you've admitted it - you're definitely on the road to recovery. I stopped cold turkey and DAMN it was hard. It was dangerous too because I felt like I was just waiting for a reason and then it would start all over again - yet here I am - faded scars and all.

My advice is to not quit cold turkey. Cut back slowly - think about the reasons why you want to hurt yourself and then do something different. Paint. Scream. Sing along to the lyrics from a favourite band of yours - it doesn't matter - just do something that makes you feel better.
I know it won't feel like it works as well as cutting yourself, but that gets easier and you get used to it.

Much love, and I hope you find happiness and even more strength.

 

(*hug*) I used to self-harm too - not seriously, but significantly - and Iit took time, but I worked through it and I stopped. I haven't for three years now. You have your own strength, and you have us, so I know you can get through it.

 

Hey Jay, your not alone in this, and I can't say I haven't done so myself, do not significantly. Just remember, there are a lot of people here and evrerwhere to support you. You are never alone and you will never be.

 

Hi Jay. I'm sorry to hear that you have this problem. But you've done the right thing by bringing it out into the open. Shedding light on it lessens the power it has over you.

I view self harm in a similar way to drinking or doing drugs. I also have an addiction that I've overcome. All of them represent a way of 'coping' with the other things in our lives. Unfortunately, these coping mechanisms become a problem themselves, and we enter a downward spiral where our coping mechanism (drinking, drugs, self harm, etc.) only provides a temporary escape from our problems, and even our coping mechanism makes us feel bad after we've used it. And to avoid those feelings, we turn to it again. Silly - but that's the way the brain of an addict works. We have a 'blind spot' that allows us to turn to our 'drug' over and over again, despite it making us feel worse in the end.

So if it's like drinking or drugs, then the AA 12 Step program is likely an appropriate solution. I don't know if such groups exist, but that would likely be helpful.

In the absence of an actual group then you can consider the 12 steps anyway - because they really are helpful.

1: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable.
2: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5: Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

I know a lot of people get hung up on the concept of 'God' in these steps. You shouldn't. Just have a willingness to try the program and an openness to the concepts that it presents.

When you have an urge, surrender it. Don't act on it, but don't fight it either. Fighting it just makes it worse. Acknowledge the urge, talk out loud about it (to yourself or to someone else) and surrender it - because you don't need it. Give it away. Let it go.

At first you're having to do that every minute of every day - to avoid cutting (drinking, acting out in some way) - because you'll want to. And after a few days you'll have to do it every hour. When the urge strikes, remember that cutting again gets you farther away from recovery, not closer. Eventually the urge will pass, as you develop better and healthier coping strategies. It's not something that happens over night. But it can happen with time. We're all here for you. And many of us can relate to what you're going through. There's nothing to be ashamed of. Shame and guilt are part of the negative cycle that feeds the bad habit / addiction.

Good luck! PM me if you want to chat more about this. I have some experience in the area.