Hi I have been thinking about coming out to my family (via phone) around the new year/holidays... Im older (35) and have been closeted a long time. One reason I never came out was waiting to have a girlfriend to know for sure.. I still have not, but Ive been thinking that this pattern has gone on too long so maybe its best to just go forward honestly and see what happens. Another reason I have avoided it is because my father and brother are very conservative.. Also my brother has a drug problem which usually is the center of our family drama, and I did not want to add to it. I came out to my sister and it went well. I think my mom will be fine in a while, and maybe they wont be that surprised, really. After all, I have been single for... oh my god. maybe 7 years? Scary. Im on my own and far away so finances, etc, are not an issue, really. I have been feeling more and more that I should just get on with it, and maybe it will help with other challenges in some way I cant predict. I dont want to spoil the holidays though, so do you think I should wait? Im sure they will have plenty of drama already with my brothers addiction. Thanks guys.
Dearest friend I believe what you ask for is not within my power. All I can tell you is to trust your instincts. Souring the holidays isn't what you should worry about. You should worry about what you're gonna say. This always the hardest part of coming out. When you do call them tell them you have something you want to tell them. Then come stright out and say it. If need anything else just ask. Love -The King of The Baltic
One thing I can say is that you don't need to have a girlfriend to prove or to know that you're gay. You're attracted to who you're attracted to and that's it. Honestly, in terms of your brother's drug problem, drawing attention away from him may be beneficial to the family. If you feel unsafe coming out, you don't need to, but as you are older and are able to get away if your father disapproves, you might be able to. During the holidays is probably the best time for coming out, as everybody is in high spirits and together. In the end it all boils down to what you think is right, but if you feel ready to, there's no need to procrastinate. Best of luck!
