In short, it was hard enough to come out to myself per se. And the idea of telling other people leaves me nothing short of terrified. I've known for a long time now that I'm gay and it took me almost as long as that to accept it in myself. Don't get me wrong, I'm not ashamed to be who I am, but somehow I find myself nope-ing away from the idea of telling people. It's almost as if I'm trying to convince myself, "No, you totally like men. Yep." when really I know I'm fighting a losing battle and I do indeed like women. I'm 21 years old and coming out is one of my resolutions for 2015. I'm just so torn between wanting to tell people and being terrified of telling people. I don't know where to start. (sorry if this makes little sense. It's late here. )
Hey Shironeko, welcome to EC! Doing scary things often requires one to practice and build confidence. For coming out, one of the better strategies is to come out to someone with whom you have a minimal emotional connection with, generally a co-worker you can trust, a long-time acquaintance you know will be accepting, etc. The benefit of this is that you get to utter the words, you get practice and you often get a new friend (sharing such secrets often elicits an interesting response from people you know less well)! As you proceed from the outside circle of friends and acquaintances, work toward the center of the circle: long-time friends, remote family members (again, they should all be people you can reasonably trust). After building this experience, coming out to those who matter the most to you will seem relatively easy. Best of luck!
Same with me. I'm comfortable being a lesbian and want to come out because I want the people to see me as I am, but the idea of telling them scares the shit out of me! I plan on coming out first to my best friend, my mom and my sister (in no particular order) because they're the ones I trust the most and with whom I feel more comfortable. Plus, I'm 100% sure they're going to be supportive. The idea is doing this too on 2015. I hope I can work up enough courage... Good luck!
we're in the same place!!! but I sincerely believe that the hardest part of this journey was coming out to ourselves. everything else becomes possible after that, and i believe that it is just a matter of time. it's a good new year's resolution. just be sure to write it down, give yourself some deadlines and make it all specific. and make it cost you something if you don't, like how much you're going to donate to charity if you don't come out in six months, something like that, so that when that time comes you will consider the consequences.
Before I cam out as lesbian I was absolutely terrified and never thought I could do it ever. But I managed it might have done it in a chicken way over facebook to 2 friends. But once you have done it you feel free and like you can be yourself. Like with anything life changing you need courage and just because you are scared dont feel like you aren't ready but make sure you are ready to answer questions if necessary. Good luck dont be afraid
I did the opposite of what GreatWhale said; I told my close friends first because I wanted them to know before I started telling other people. I knew they would all react fairly well, and that way, if something went bad later down the line, I had someone to whom I could turn for help. It's worked out pretty well for me; almost all of my close friends know, along with the guy whom I like. They've all been awesome and I know that if I ever need help, they'll be there for me. That's just my experience, though. Your situation might be completely different than mine, so you just have to do what feels right to you.
Thank you for all your lovely replies. It's reassuring to know that I'm not alone with my feelings on all of this. I'll get there eventually, though!
I'd like to come out to a few more people in 2015. I know what you mean, it's terrifying to tell people but the feeling of relief and freedom is worth it!
Hi Start with the people you know best and are most sure of how they will respond. Coming out to myself took ages, really talented at arguing why I was not gay, A relief to have finally done it just feel a bit daft that it took to my age to work this out. I came out to my two best friends today, a straight couple, and their response was effectively 'so what' and then they both hugged me. Which was pretty much what I expected of them. But that doesn't mean I wasn't nervous and took almost an hour before I plucked up the courage to tell them!
