1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

His Virginity

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by matu233, May 15, 2007.

  1. matu233

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 14, 2007
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Brisbane, Australia
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Hey everyone, i have one HUGE problem that i need to get off my chest.

    Ok me and my boyfriend have got to the stage of the relationship where we want to take it one step further. The other day he asked me if i would be the one to take his virginity, now the major problem is that im 15 and he is 13 :confused: so im not sure if i should just wait until he is a little more mature...hmm im really confused.

    What should i do?
    :help:
     
  2. joeyconnick

    joeyconnick Guest

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2005
    Messages:
    3,069
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Toronto, ON
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I take it you mean he wants you to fuck him, right?

    Let's see... Australia... Brisbane... Queensland... www.ageofconsent.com... so you can't legally consent to anal sex until you're 18 in Queensland (which is techincally also true here in Canada although the law that specifies a different age for anal sex--our normal age of consent is (still so far) 14--is one that is still on the books yet very rarely used). So... that's definitely one thing to keep in mind, especially given that you're the older party in the relationship. I don't mean the police are gonna break down your door and arrest you guys or anything but if someone found out you two were having anal sex, they would have a lot of leverage if they wanted to screw you over.

    So you might wanna wait a bit just on the basis of that. Someone could paint your relationship as you "preying" on him... and while that wouldn't be the truth, legally you guys would be in hot water, especially you because it's always the older party who is the predator... unless it's a young woman who is seen as a golddigger but then you start getting into sexism and stuff.

    So yeah my personal opinion is that 13 seems a little young to be getting fucked up the ass. (It sounds really outrageous when I say it like that, doesn't it?)

    Of course... it's never really that simple. There is a lot to be said for having that kind of experience with someone you trust and who cares about you and my take is that the sheer fact that you're asking about it here means you actually do care about him and you're not just trying to get laid.

    However, here's the thing: you're asking about it here, so that makes it seem like you have some reservations. I would tell him you are really honoured he asked you but you're not ready to do that yet and why don't you guys talk about it again later? I was gonna say "in 6 months" but 6 months is probably an eternity if you're 15, let alone 13. But seriously... you don't really want to get into it if you feel confused about it. If he is unhappy, you can fall back on the legal prohibitions as your main reason so that he doesn't feel quite as let down. Just make sure to let him know it's nothing to do with him--that you're not ready quite yet.
     
  3. TeeBe

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 2, 2007
    Messages:
    273
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Ontario, Canada
    I would have to agree. You can be honest with him, using whatever your reservations may be, but 13 really does seem a little young. (Please forgive me if I sound like a school Marm.)
     
  4. Jamie

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2006
    Messages:
    680
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Drammen, Norway (from England originally).
    whilst i'm in no position to be dishing out advice. I would say that since the age of consent is 18 then you have a fair way to wait (both of you). Personally though i'd say it's all about circumstance. Both of you being minors i'd say that when the shit hits the fan you wouldn't end up worst off than him since the age gap isn't massive, although you would if you were over 18 and he was under 18.

    Then again 13 is still very young and i'd be a hippocrit for discouraging straight people from having sex at that age and to stand (well sit) here and say that it's ok for two gay guys. Just think about what you're doing, think of the pros and cons, how long your relationship has been doing for, etc, etc, etc and come to your own conclusion. Realistically though think about waiting 5 years... could you manage it?? If not play it safe and do it with both of you under the age of consent. Assuming he's mature enough to make a rational adult decision to have sex in the first place.
     
  5. tired_of_lying411

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2006
    Messages:
    558
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NS, Canada
    hmm... 13 and 15.... I'm 16 and I feel that is just way too young (gay or straight). Wait. I promise it will mean more If you're older. There's a lot of mental growing up that happens between 13 and 15. He's probably not as ready as he thinks he is.

    Long story short, you never want it to be a regret. I would wait.
     
  6. Sam

    Sam
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2006
    Messages:
    1,109
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Oklahoma
    wow 13 thats a little bit young. thats a big decision for a 13 year old to make. I have to say though that you must really care about him if you are concerned enough about it to ask for advice but seriously while you may care about him and want to be with him I still think that 13 is too young I would say give it another 3 years..... even 2 years would be better. however I would suggest that both of you are under 18 and its true that a 13 year old has a lot of growing up to do mentally he may think he is ready when he really isn't and then he will probably regret it after.
    Sam
     
  7. tinkerbell

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2007
    Messages:
    175
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Stop. Wait.
     
  8. nisomer

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2005
    Messages:
    561
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    MN
    i second that.
     
  9. joeyconnick

    joeyconnick Guest

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2005
    Messages:
    3,069
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Toronto, ON
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Not that I haven't had my say but I really DON'T second that. Not because I'm like, "Yeah go for it" but because a response as simplistic as "stop. wait." isn't useful because it doesn't say WHY you think the person should stop and wait. Put yourself in the poster's shoes: if someone told you to stop and wait with no further explanation, would that be a useful answer?
     
  10. ampthejazz

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2006
    Messages:
    192
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Maine
    I'd say that you should probably wait a couple of years. 13 seems really young to me. It's great that he trusts you enough to ask you to take his virginity, but at the same time, you've really got to be ready.

    But I'm not sure I'd know, since I'm still a virgin.


    If you two truly care about each other, then hopefully he'll understand if you want to wait.
     
  11. matu233

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 14, 2007
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Brisbane, Australia
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Thanks everyone for you opinions, i have decided to wait awhile (1 year) if we are still together i will have a re-think. You’re right that 13 is too young (i know i defiantly wasn’t ready)

    Thanks Again

    Love ya

    xoxo


    (&&&)