This could easily be an epic, long first post, but I will spare the details I have been happily married to my fantastic wife for 18 years. From near the start of our relationship we soon realised we were both bi curious. For the past 20+ years I have struggled to own up to being bi. My wife has finally convinced me that we actually have something very special, each others acceptance of our sexuality. Bizarely my wife confided in me recently that most of our friends have known I was bi for many years My wife has been quite open in about her sexuality for ages to friends, for various reasons, anyone in asimilar situation will know exactly where this is coming from. Blimey, it's hard to know how much of the detail to cut out, two decades of suffering have been condensed into a few paragraphs. Ok, cutting to the chase, now I have accepted my sexuality, I want to stop living a lie and admit to my friends and who supposedly know that yes, I am bi. I want to tell the world that being bi is great, hate me if you want, but finally I love myself for being honest. My wife is the exact opposite and wants to remain with the status quo and says her parents knowing of her sexuality would really hurt them. Gosh, my mind is racing and I don't really know what advice I am asking for:bang: I guess I just want someone to say "Just do it, most people already knew." Really i though it would be easy once I owned up to myself, there are now more questions than answers. Sorry for the waffle.
I wonder if you could clarify a few points, as I'm a little confused. You said: then you said: What I really don't get is why your wife (who is out to her own friends) would ask you to maintain the status quo? Am I missing something? I can understand that she doesn't want her parents to know, and I think it's up to her to tell them if/when she is ready, but I don't understand why she would wish to deny you the opportunity to confirm what people seem to know. When she talks about maintaining the status quo is she talking about you coming out or about your relationship with her? Personally, I would tell whoever you want to tell (except your in-laws). I just can't see any reason not to, if you are ready and happy to do it. You've come this far. By the way.. nobody here will "hate you". That's not what we're about.
i had the same confusion as Patrick, but i guess any advice would be; instead of coming out just be out since as you said, most of your friends know or suspect no hate here friend(&&&)
