On 22 February 2014, I admitted to myself that I was gay. It was such a relief. I like it more now than back then because now I am truly proud of being gay. I would not take a pill that would make me permanently straight, even if I was paid to take it. I'd rather be gay than straight. I would like to take a "straight for a day" pill because I am curious on what it's like to be attracted to women, just like a colorblind person is curious about the colors (s)he cannot see. I hate how everybody is assumed to be straight until they "come out" otherwise. I hate the whole necessity of coming out. Thus I decide I will not "come out". I will let people know I'm gay, but I will not sit down to my parents and say, "Mom, dad, I have something to tell you..." I will only tell people if they specifically ask me, if it is necessary to answer a question, or if I have a boyfriend I want to introduce to people. I've already been asked once, and as you can tell by my "out status", I wonder if they thought I was joking. They will probably continue to think this until they notice I've been taking the joke quite far, and start wondering. Or maybe they knew I was serious and it's all good! One time during free class time, the kids (including me) were all talking, and we started playing the "What are the odds?" game. I was asked, "What are the odds we'll find you a girlfriend?" and I immediately replied, "Zero!". There was some more talk, and I was eventually asked if I like girls or boys. I was a little nervous, but I went right ahead and said boys. The girl who asked me went "Oh, huh" and I was asked a few questions about that, like "Do you have a crush on any guys?" and "Do you want to date a boy in high school?". Later on, the same girl who asked me if I liked boys or girls later told me I would be rich someday (I love math, and mathematicians do make a lot of money), and have a hot WIFE. Somebody else then said, "Or husband". I'm not sure if she forgot or if she thought I was joking. Last time somebody at my school came out as gay, there were rumors and talk going around about it, and after a week it ended. There was nothing at all going around about me, which is why I'm suspicious they thought I was joking. I had a pleasant dream about this a couple nights ago. People in class were discussing relationship stuff, and I was wondering if the spotlight would hit me. It did. They asked me sometime about me having a boyfriend. The fact that they all talked to me like that and said boy instead of girl felt good. Literally it felt comfortable and cozy (remember I was sleeping in my bed when I was dreaming this). P.S. Is there a character limit to individual posts? I was worried I would go over.
