Love Won Out

what happens at these confences? I've just heard about them from you!

 

I just spit-up a little!

 

Ugh, that's so messed up. I think you could at least try reassuring him that he's fine the way he is, he has nothing to be ashamed of, etc. before he goes...other than that, I'm not sure there's much you can do.

 

i think that when he comes back you should debrainwash him by forcing him to watch a same-sex couple movie(PG).

 

I've looked at the site an i have to say, being forced to go to that would scare me shitless. I can say one thing for sure. no matter how horrible it is i dont think you should pick him up and take him away. besides the legal issues, "kidnapping" him will just drive his mom even crazier. if she doesnt like him being gay she probably wont be too keen on your rescue attempt. after that she might even be more opressive and just send him to another one.

Your friend should talk it over with his mom though. he needs to try to explain to her that this is who he is and if she really loved him she would accept him for it. not condemn him. but i'm guessing his mom wont listen to that or hasnt listened.

Other than that i really dont know what to say. i think he just has to live through it. it'll be hard and might be traumatizing but if he is completely sure about his sexuality and accepts it, theres really nothing they can do to him (is there?). he just has to have faith in himself. from the looks of it this thing only brags about "changing" people who DONT want to be gay. your friend just has to stick to his own understanding and acceptance of his sexuality.

The most you could do would be to support him. before and after. talk to him. tell him everything will be okay. he needs someones support now more than ever. especially afterwards. if he comes away hurt you need to help him through it. to reassure him. he'll need it.

idk. i hope this helps. i'm so srry for your friend. these people piss me the fck off. they sit in their high chairs and think they can dictate the fate of people they see as underneath. it sickens me. i hope he comes out of there okay :eusa_pray

 

There is very little you can do.

The only thing i can think of is to tell your friend to talk to his mother, if he can't talk her out of then it's time he outright said to her that he is not going, whether she likes it or not.

If she somehow manages to 'force' him to go, then perhaps it's time you equipped him with what's needed to not be affected by this conference.

 

That is very sad and very sickening. How can places like this still exist? And how can a mother send her son there? I suggest that you have your friend talk to his mom, or maybe you could help him talk to her. That’s a tough situation because you want to make sure that you don’t make the situation worse when you’re trying to make it better. If neither of you can talk his mom out of making him go, then I guess just do your best to reassure him that being gay is fine and that you support him. I hope everything goes well.

(*hug*) for you, and (*hug*) for him

 

This is disgusting. Tell him to stay strong and go along with whatever they do at the conference and that you'll be there when he gets back. They try to propagate lies to these kids...scare them straight. If he is strong nothing will do this. Have you made it clear to the mother that this is sickening?

 

thats horrible!
why try and make him something hes not :'(

 

I think all you can do is: talk to him and reassure him about it being ok to be gay. Go through all the arguments they're likely to throw at him (it's unnatural, you're just longing for a father figure, it's against God's wishes etc) and help him to understand why they're wrong. Get him to have that clearly in his mind before he goes. Give him mental confidence that he is worthwhile and he doesn't (and can't) change. Then when he goes to this thing he'll have the strength to resist some of their bullshit, even if just in his head. Even so, when he comes back, be there to support him again because it will probably fuck him right up no matter how much you support him in advance.

Good luck, I feel so sorry for this poor guy (*hug*)

 

As tempting as it may sound, you can't kidnap him. I'd be tempted too! What you can do is take him information for him to give to his mother that talks about the dangers of reparative/conversion therapy. If you call your PFLAG chapter that is in this town, they can supply you with some good things to give his mother. In fact, my guess is they will be there doing their thing like we PFLAG people do. Oh and you can stand outside those gates to the church or whatever with a big sign that says "Its okay to be gay". (try not to get arrested lol) Hang out with the PFLAG people. I'm guessing it will be a big old smile on his face to see you there with that sign.

The thing about these conferences is they put alot of blame on the parents telling them that their kids are gay because either they had a missing father or their father didn't spend enough time with them growing up or they have a domineering mother. Alot of parents see this for what it is.......BS!

If you PM me with the location of the conference I will find out if PFLAG people will be there.

 

Surely his parents can't force him to go?

 

I can't believe people would seriously go to such extremes as to try and force their child to be straight. It's not only ignorant on the parent's part, but also a danger to their son's mental health.

Just try to encourage him and offer support-- make sure he knows the "conference" is a load of nonsense and that he shouldn't listen to a word they say.

 

My opinion? People might not agree with this ,but I'd call Family services and talk to a social worker. Desperate measures? Maybe. This is a desperate situation. Maybe someone there can intervene for this child. This is worse than horrible! It really could push him over the edge. This is what I would do. Like I said, it's just my opinion.

 

Its worth a try but I'm guessing they wouldn't do anything about it.

 

I would be all for advocating this if I knew it would work,but I just don't know what a social worker could due unless it could be proved that attending this confrenece could be detrimental to his physical and mental health.Then and only then could the social worker intervene.

 

That's what I meant. There has to be someone,somewhere, to put a stop to this...before it's too late. If people wonder why gay teens hurt themselves,and worse,this is a prime example. I'm wondering if this young man may have family,other than his mom,obviously,who can help him.Next to actually disowning your child,I think this is the worst thing a parent can do. Geez,I wish I could hide him,myself!:bang: