Should i wait until I am seeing / dating another woman before I come out to family? I am new to this lifestyle at age 44. I have only previously dated men so I don't even know how to approach a woman I am interested in romantically. I have attended a few lesbian meet ups in my area but I don't really feel accepted at these. I was told its because I am straight looking. Not that people aren't nice but I feel like an outsider. Maybe I won't find someone so why tell family and maybe lose or upset them? i have been really depressed lately because I feel like I don't have a place anymore. If I alienate family by coming out then I will really be alone because they have been my support system.
Hey! I don't think you necessarily have to wait until you're involved with someone to come out to family, but maybe take some time to find your footing in the LGBTQ community first? That way you're not alone while you're building a second support system within the community in case things with your family go south once you do decide to come out. Now, about people being kind of frosty towards you, that I don't know about. I suppose at first it can take a little bit of time to build up trust towards newcomers, especially within a marginalized community such as this one. Just keep at it I suppose, go to more events, get to know people and who knows, maybe you'll find a lady when you least expect it!
It's really up to you, and whatever makes you feel comfortable. One advantage that I could see about coming out right away is that it would be one less thing to worry about. There is enough stress of introducing the significant other to the family, especially when you haven't introduced a new significant other to them for such a long time; why make it harder by having to also be telling them you're a lesbian at the same time. I believe in eating the elephant one bite at a time. trying to choke the whole thing down in a single bite is likely to exceed the capacity of my esophogous. (&&&)
