Ranting and some back story before I ask of how to come out to my Dad and Talking with my Mom: ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________ So, back in August (2014), I came out to my Mom as transgender (Ftm). Once I came out to her it was a weight of my chest, until she said I was her DAUGHTER and She would love me no matter what, but I don’t feel like she understands how much it hurts every time she calls me her DAUGHTER, refers to me as my birth name, and by female pronouns even after I asked her to call me by my preferred name and pronouns. I made it clear when I spoke to her about this, that I don’t care if she doesn’t accept me, but I had to let her know, because it was slowly killing me inside. I plan on talking to her about going to a therapist when I get the chance, how should I go about asking her about that? The only bad response, in coming out, I’ve had was one of my closest friends telling me I was just "doing this for attention" but if he wants to be an ass, he can screw off, because if he doesn’t want to be here for me, I don’t need him in my life. Now to most of the reason that I’m typing this. My dad. I’m not sure how he views the transgender community as a whole, but what I do know, is the reason I’m so scared to tell him. Of course, I do feel like a big influence on most of how most of his views about this, is this small city he grew up in and we live in, in Bible belt Oklahoma. A quick example: My dad, who is independent and owns his own trucking business, used to train people how to drive semis. These students would stay at a hotel down the street from us, and frequently come over to our house, because my dad worked in town a lot and many of these people were from out of state. One of his students was a Trans-Woman who started to transition later in life. She was such a nice woman and my dad hated her for one reason and one reason only, because she was transgender. He knows how I feel about the subject, because when I was 9 and I met her, he would yell at me for calling her a woman, which she is, and he was watching the Chaz Bono documentary and he kept calling him a she, and raged when I corrected him. My mom even told me after I came out to her, that my dad hates the woman he trained because he feels like she "exposed us to something"(my brother and I). I wanted to wait until I was 18 to come out, but I can’t wait and its killing me every day that I don’t say something. Keep in mind that while I'm trying to go about this as maturely as possible, I’m turning 15 in less than 3 months, and if I can barely wait this long, I can’t imagine waiting till I’m 18. Waiting to come out isn’t even on my list of things to do. So, how should I go about coming out to my Dad, and how could I find a therapist in my area, and talk to my mom about going to one.
You might have a look at this: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gender-identity-expression/156085-i-just-im-kind-scared.html#4 and this: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gende...-how-should-i-go-about-finding-therapist.html and this : Choosing a gender therapist ( I found the style a bit rude...) You might, as you said, talk to a gender therapist, or ask someone from an lgbt center or even a counselor from school for help with a referral... you might say to your mom you want some counseling, and look for someone who has gender on their list. And there might even be support groups in your area. You might build some community on EC, for now you can chat with others via wall messages, after 14 days you can apply for full membership and join the chat and send private messages... just ask questions if you have any... people here will try to support you... (*hug*)
