I know I've stated that I could live in the closet forever but there are times when I think of what my life could be like if I came out. Not the negative reactions but the positive ones. Maybe I could meet someone special some day. I know coming out usually means telling people you're sexuality but is it also coming out if someone were to ask me directly and I said yes. I might be able to do that because then I wouldn't be the one to bring it up.
It definitely counts and, for me at least, it is easier than bringing it up yourself. I hate making a big deal out of it, but someone asking and me answering, or it somehow coming up in the conversation, that I can do. And if that first one goes well, it will build up your confidence for the next steps, if you ever want to.
Coming out is simply letting someone know that you are gay (used to cover all the letters). It doesn't matter if you bring it up or if they ask you directly and you confirm.
For me coming out was letting those close to me know who I really am. Not having to pretend or to cover up not having to watch what I do or say. There are thousands of ways of doing it, but the first few times are supper scary. I once "came out" when someone asked me to go to a strip club with him I replied "I'm not into that .... but if there were guys stripping I might" the look of confusion on his face was priceless! I'm now just so relaxed about being me! At this stage there are a lot of people that don't know that I'm gay they just assume it!
I've been thinking about coming out for a few weeks now and so far I couldn't force myself to bring up the topic. It's super hard. Not because of the negative reactions I might get, most of my family and friends are ok with lgbt people, but because I've got to be the one starting the conversation. They might suspect I'm gay because I never talk about boys and I show zero interest in them, but I know them, and they are never going to ask me straight forward. I wish they would. It would be a lot easier...
I wish people could just ask me if I'm straight. I could just say no and move on. If they ask if I'm gay that would make things harder for me. I feel that I'm gay, but I constantly doubt my sexuality. The thing that I'm most sure about is not being straight, but I sometimes even doubt that.
Thanks for the replies I feel better knowing I don't have to be the one to bring it up. Though it will depend on who asks. I've made a new friend over the past few months and if she were to ask, I would tell her but if it's someone at work then no.
Coming out (to me) consists of two parts. 1. Those closest to you know. 2. You don't care who else knows. I'm not sure if my butcher knows, or the guy who lives three doors down from me. They might know. In the course of my limited interaction with them, it might come up and it might not. If it does, it's like my college history or my favorite sports teams came up. No big deal. Lex
I've really been struggling with coming out, but I have made two decisions. The first is to act "as if" I were out. That means acting like my authentic self instead of trying to act straight, wearing things that look gay (rainbows, pinks), and liking things on face book associated with LGBT, as well as having lots of out friends on FB. The second decision that I made is similar to what you said. I have told some people directly, but not the key critical people. But the second decision is that is anybody asks me straight out if I am gay, anybody, I will give them an honest answer. I have told too many lies to stay in my little closet, and have lived a lie for too long. So if I am straight out asked a straight up question (lots of straight there, huh?), then I will give them a straight yes. Or I guess that would be a gay yes. Well, anyway, you get my point! (&&&)
