Hi! So, I've decided to start my coming out process sometime soon as I'm moving away from home, however, I'm having a hard time deciding who it is to come out to first. I've already told my best friend, who was amazing about it, but I think now I'm ready to start telling my family. I have gay uncles that are wholly accepted by my mum, my brother and I. Mum is a little homophobic against lesbians as she doesn't understand why they would chose to like women over men (*heavy sigh*). My dad is homophobic, but likes them enough to act normal around them, even though he doesn't agree with it. I don't think I'll tell me Grandparents as they're completely homophobic, though still love their son. My uncles live on the other side of the world, though are currently visiting us over the holidays. I'm going to stay with them for a week at their holiday home by myself. I was thinking about telling them that I'm probably a lesbian while I'm there - they're gay, so they'll be accepting and help me tell my parents about it when I need to. They'll also probably help me out with everything, too. However, they're gossips, and may tell my mum before I'm 100% sure I'm ready. Should I hold off and tell my mum first? She'll accept it, but I'm afraid it will change our relationship somewhat. Any advice would be appreciated
wow, the uncles seem like the ideal people to share it with, for the support and all that, but what you said about them being gossips is a bit disconcerting. don't you think that they would be more likely to have some discretion with something like this? I mean, they're gay and they had to go through the whole coming out thing themselves, so they know how hard it is, and I would think that they wouldn't want to make it harder for you. and if you're going to tell your mom shortly after telling them, they shouldn't have much time to gossip. telling your mom first is always a good thing, but personally I would like to have the easy one first, to build up my confidence.
Hey there Aussie girl! (I don't mean to be rude, I just really like Australia!) I agree with Wildside, that your uncles will probably understand the secretiveness of being in the closet and will not let it slip to your mom if you ask them not to say anything about it to her. I think staying with them for a week would be a great opportunity to come out to them, and to have time alone with them to ask for advice. However, I also think you should consider coming out to your brother. Sometimes siblings know you're gay before you do. Siblings are also good to come out to first because they'll be your inital familial base of support. Plus, you're brother seems to be pretty cool with your uncles, so why would you being a lesbian be any different? I hope this helped, and that you're coming out goes great!
