I think that im ready to fully come out, Im not afraid of what everyone will think, I just feel that im ready. The only thing i am afraid of is my mom's reaction. She has told me to always keep this a secret, and even on Saturday she told me that if everyone found out my grandma would be shunned from the church, Real self-esteem boost there, So idk, my mom telling me that really hurt and i dont know what to do. If I do get over the mom hurtle I would like to fully come out...
I don't think it's right for your mom to make that sort of decision for you. It's up to you whether or not you want people to know. I say if you're ready, go for it! Contrary to what she may think, it's nothing to be ashamed of. :3
Why would your grandmother be shunned at church? I think your mom is making up excuses because she's having a hard time dealing with this herself. Sweetie,do what you feel is right FOR YOU. I sincerely wish you all the luck in the world. Please don't let ANYONE make you feel bad about who you are. At the end of the day,it's YOU who has to live the way you want to be happy.
My mother told me I should never tell Grandma that I'm gay. She said it'd kill her, she wouldn't understand, etc etc. This didn't make any sense to me, since she had campaigned for Jesse Jackson back in the 80s - she was about as liberal as they came. But I went along with it. About six months later, in casual conversation, my Grandma asked my sister, "So how do you feel about Lex being a homosexual?" Grandma ain't dumb. Grandma won't be shunned at church unless you go to service with her wearing a "I'M (grandma)'S GRANDSON AND I LIKE HAVING SEX WITH OTHER BOYS" T-shirt. Lex
Yeah, i mean I understand that, as of now im like "F#$% what everyone else thinks." but I don't know how to explain to my mom that. She has it stuck in her head that I should keep this a secret until I graduate and go off to college. So how do i tell her that dont wanna live a lie?
I think your mom hasn't found acceptance so she's using Grandma as an excuse for more time. You don't have to walk around with rainbows all over but it is not right for your mom to shame you into silence. You are who you are and you should be proud of it. Has your mom done any reading or looked at attending PFLAG meetings? What's your Dad think about all of this?
You might strike a bargain with your mother. Tell her you won't tell Grandma if it means that much to her, or that you'll let her tell Grandma in her own way. Lex
You shouldn't have to hide your true self just because your mom can't seem to accept it.I actually disagree with Lex for the first time.I don't think she should force you to keep this from Grandma.It's like she's asking you to keep quiet because she(your mother) is the uncomfortable one.Grandma may take it better than your mom thinks.
My mom hasn't looked at anything about PFLAG, and my bio-dad doesn't know, but my step-dad does but we don't talk about that, like if it comes up he doesn't say anything. Also, its not that my mom doesn't want me to tell my grandma it's that she doesnt want ANYONE to know, until I go off to college.
Then what Vector said. You just tell her. It's not that you feel everybody in the world needs to "know your business", but by keeping it under wraps, it's implying that it's something that SHOULD be kept under wraps. That it's something to be ashamed of. And you don't want to do that anymore. Lex
Yeah, I went to an very non-accepting church and even though I was shunned, the grandparents are fine.
