In October I sent my parents an email where I explained that I am asexual and non gender. They both responded really well, thanked me for telling them what was going on and haven't asked about it much since. (I asked them not to ask me questions in person, but that I would rather them over email so that I could think before answering.) It was a little weird that they didn't have any questions, but thought they at least sort of got it. It wasn't particularly surprising to them. But after my visit over the holidays I'm not so sure. Mostly it was fine, but I got a lot of clothes for gifts and they were all woman's clothes. My mom, who did all of the shopping for clothes, knows I prefer guys shirts - I have preferred them for years even before I had any idea I could be not a girl. I'm tall and female shirts are always too short and they make my chest more visible. I don't know what to do. Do I try again now to explain? Should I leave it alone for a while? I didn't really explain, but I ended up taking the shirts she got my dad and she was going to return the ones she got me. So in the end it worked out ok. I just thought we had gotten further than this in October.
if you are more comfortable discussing these things by email, why not just send them an email. read it over carefully before sending, so that they don't feel like you're angry at them. Just tell them how nice it was to see them, thank them for their thoughtfulness with the gifts, but remind them again that the women's clothes don't really work for you because of you being asexual and non-gender like you previously talked about, but that you do appreciate them making the swap. just a gentle way of getting a reminder in there. and let them know that if they want to know anything more, that you would be happy to get it in an email, as you said before. and perhaps even send a link to something with some information. it does sound like they are supportive, but that they just may not know very much about it.
Do you think your parents really understood what you were telling them meant? That could be the reason for the confusion x
Perhaps she interpreted the part about you being agender as you not having an aversion to being feminine, so you'd be okay with wearing female clothes too. Maybe she wants you to be a girl, for whatever reason. I dare not speculate any further, I think you should email her again and sort out the confusion (if there is some).
The message I sent was much more detailed than just saying I am non gender, but explained how I came to that conclusion and that my method of looking androgynous was to look masculine. My voice and body are pretty feminine, so dressing like a guy is the only way I can look somewhere in the middle. So I expected her to get that. I guess when it's a letter someone sent you and not your life it's easier to forget. I'm constantly reminded... It's true, I should send another email to clarify. Its just that it isn't easy and I don't want to have that week or two of being obsessed and scared trying to write the note. I wish I wasn't so shy and socially anxious. I have evidence that nothing horrible will happen if I talk to them now.
the anxiety is nothing unusual. I suffer from that too. but you hit right on the most important truth: you know that nothing horrible will happen. they love you! good luck.
