So I've know since I was a lil kid I was into men ..but I also like girls , but lately All I've been thinking about is finding love In another man . It's literally on my mind all day and night to the point where it gets overwhelming , I need a emotional/sexual relationship with a man soon or I'll go crazy ... My problem is I can never come out no matter what , my family is religious and very judgmental they'd never accept me and I couldn't hurt them like that . I want to be happy but it scares me even saying " I'm bi" or " I want a boyfriend" sounds scary ..Is it possible for me to be happy seeing woman but keep a descrete bf also ? I know it sounds wrong and unloyal to the female but it's the way it could work for me I think .. Idk I'm just really confused . Please help!! ..... Also On a side I know 100 I was born liking men and it's part of me .. But not to sound to vulgar but sometimes after I c*m I know longer feel gay eventually my gayness comes back tho is this normal ?
I have to say that it would be healthier to try to come to terms with your sexuality, so you don't have to go through all of this and seek out casual hook-ups with guys. I know how difficult and scary it may seem and your concerns about family reactions are certainly not without foundation, but if your attraction to guys is as overwhelming as you say it may not satisfy your sexual desires to have occasional hook-ups and then return to a girlfriend/spouse. Keeping a discreet boyfriend at the same time could prove disastrous on so many levels. I mean none of this in a judgemental way Ink213 and I really do appreciate how stressful it must be for you, but I can't see how it will be satisfactory to you over the medium/long term to maintain this kind of situation. I'm inclined to think the pressure will build as your desire to be with a man continues to return. Nobody can tell you what to do, but I hope you will think about all of this carefully.
I don't know how old you are, but based on what you wrote, I think you're young. I had been struggling with the same, and I needed some time alone to come to terms with my sexuality, and I finally accepted my attraction to men completely. As for coming out to your family: if you still live with them, don't. They could disown you and I guess you don't want that. After you're independent financially, you can do it if you want. I understand your overwhelming need for a boyfriend, I was like this too. But I realized that first I have to be a complete man alone, because I don't want to be dependent on the love of another guy/girl. What if he/she leaves me? Then I'm lost. I know it's hard to change your thinking, but it's worth the effort.
