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Im stressed out emotionally

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by jeff72, Oct 22, 2008.

  1. jeff72

    Regular Member

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    Not out at all
    All this has really got me frazzled. I have always had low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety. I am the type of guy who wants to help everyone. I want everyone to like me (which I know is a pipe dream). I don't have mean friends off this thing, and I know I am bit too clingy. I also try to hard. I want to find a guy who wants me but to do that I have to know who I am. I want a guy to be my lover and my friend. Im sorry to the group if I offended anyone. There were two reasons why I joined this group. I wanted to join a place where I could feel comfortable and be welcomed by people who are going thru what I am going thru. Secondly I came here to make friendships that would last. Friends who would support and stick by you. Im just needing to be reassured. Im in counseling, and it doesn't seem like it helps much. What is wrong with me? Alot of it has to do with my past. I have let women and men for that matter walk all over me. I take stuff too seriously, and sometimes I get suicidal because I think the world would be better off if I wasn't here. I have thought about suicide many times, but am too chicken to do it. I keep thinking I could wind up worse than I already am. Im sorry guys. I will close. :bang:

    Jeff
     
  2. Lexington

    Full Member

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    If your problems run deep, it's going to take quite some time for therapy to have some effect. First, it'll take some time even to figure out precisely where the problems are, what the root causes are, and how best to move beyond them. So give it time. If there's a very specific part of your personality that you'd especially like to work on first - "I'd like to feel better about myself" or "I'd like to be able to stand up to people better" - then tell your therapist that. S/he may be able to address that specific concern first.

    As for the rest of it, just keep your options open. Meet people. Get to know them. Try not to be a doormat. Remember, other people have friends without having to "do stuff" for them all the time, and that's not because they're "better people". They just found people they clicked with, people they enjoyed spending time with. And you'll no doubt find some, as well. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  3. Jim1454

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    It's important that you focus on you - that's for sure. When you know yourself better, and understand what your needs are, then you'll know better how to interact with others. Coming to terms with your orientation isn't an easy thing to do, and it's only one aspect of who you are. Most people have problems of some kind, and all of us have those problems PLUS we've had to contend with being gay / bi / transgender / etc...

    This is a pretty positive place to hang out though, so you can plan on participating here and interacting with other people in a similar situation as you, and understand how they cope with things.

    Good luck.
     
  4. EM68

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    I completely understand what you are saying. I was so stressed and drained before I joined EC that I thought I was going to loose it. Everyone is here to help everyone. Right now just concentrate on yourself. If you don't look after yourself no one will. The world will NOT be better off without you. I believe that everything happens for a reason. We may not know why right away and we may never know. Bit thinking this helps me get through my hardest days. If you ever need anything you can always count on us. (*hug*)
     
  5. boredofnormal

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    Hi Jeff,
    I'm a newbie here, but can definitely relate to what you're saying.
    I am a gay man that is in a 23 year marriage to a woman! I've been in a relationship vacuum now for many years not getting my core needs met.

    Anyway, what keeps me sane is knowing that I will have good days and I will have bad days. I don't take either very seriously. When the bad days come, I try to relax and remember that nothing in life stays the same, and I have no where to go but up.

    Stay with your therapy dude, it does take time to get to the root of the issue.

    Be well,
    Tim(&&&)