I'm 22 years old and I just recently came out as bisexual to almost all of my friends a few months ago. They kind of already suspected, so it was a really positive experience and they haven't treated me differently. I currently have a boyfriend and he knows and is very understanding and supportive as well. But my family knows nothing. They are incredibly homophobic and have always displayed nothing but feelings of disgust towards the lgbtq community. We can't even watch tv without them making awful comments and sounds of disgust towards an outwardly gay character or person. And I'm so hurt and afraid of how, when or if I even should come out to them. There's no doubt in my mind that there will be nothing positive about the experience. I honestly have no clue what to do.
Do you still live with your parents? Maybe write some lists of positive and negative things that could come out of coming out to your parents.
Coming out now, might or might not be what you need only you can know that for sure. But somethings you can do that might make it easier for you when you do come out: If they make a homophobic remark correct them. Tell them its not kind to judge others. And maybe try explaining that LGBT+ people aren't bad. You could maybe even invent a fake LGBT+ friend to talk to your parents about (instead of real, keeps peoples anonymity).(But this could also back fire when you do come out, and they might temporarily place blame on the person... so the choice is yours) But correcting their homophobic comments would likely be a good way to ease into things. Or even just try talking about the Ellen show. Or get you mom to watch funny clips from it. Things that will counter their stereotypes and prejudices. I know that even these making these corrective comments can feel like your heart is beating out of your chest and that they'll know everything. But it will likely make it easier on both you and your folks if you ever do tell them (a very personal decision.) Best of luck and stay strong (*hugs*).
Coming out now, might or might not be what you need only you can know that for sure. But somethings you can do that might make it easier for you when you do come out: If they make a homophobic remark correct them. Tell them its not kind to judge others. And maybe try explaining that LGBT+ people aren't bad. You could maybe even invent a fake LGBT+ friend to talk to your parents about (instead of real, keeps peoples anonymity).(But this could also back fire when you do come out, and they might temporarily place blame on the person... so the choice is yours) But correcting their homophobic comments would likely be a good way to ease into things. Or even just try talking about the Ellen show. Or get you mom to watch funny clips from it. Things that will counter their stereotypes and prejudices. I know that even these making these corrective comments can feel like your heart is beating out of your chest and that they'll know everything. But it will likely make it easier on both you and your folks if you ever do tell them (a very personal decision.) Best of luck and stay strong (*hugs*).
Coming out to family is so hard, the only reason I came out, is because it slipped out and I went into panic mode. My family was accepting and all, but it was none the less terrifying. It might be best to wait until you are on stable ground financially, that way should it, god forbid turn sour, you will be able to support yourself.
Unless you're dying to tell them, it might be worth waiting till you're in a gay relationship, otherwise you could be inciting things for no reason. Also idk if you live with your parents or if they're supporting you, if so you might also want to hold off till you can change that in case things go badly. If u do wanna come out, maybe try testing the waters by letting your parents know how you feel about gay rights. It opens the conversation without immediately making yourself a target. That's what I've been doing the past few months while I wait till I'm in the position to safely come out to my parents. Good luck!
