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What should I do?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Engine97, Jan 5, 2015.

  1. Engine97

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    :help:I guess I found out I might be gay in the 8th grade. I was confused and I kept denying it. I here the F:***:g word a lot from my father (My dad is a great dad, just uses a lot of profanity) so being gay really scared me. It's one of the big no-nos in my family. My grandmother is extremely religious and she does not tolerate gay people very well. As for my dad, I don't know his view on the subject, but since I hear the "F" (the one that ends in g) word a lot, it doesn't look good. I've come to the conclusion that being gay is not bad, but on to the wonderful things in life. I guess I'm passed self acceptance (though I keep second guessing myself).

    But I don't know how my family is going to react. During the summer last year I told my mom "I think I'm gay (I still am skeptical, but that's just my personality, I'm always second guessing myself)" She was thoroughly surprised. She had no idea. She still loves me an doesn't care what I like, she loves her son for who he truly is (Mom if you ever read this, thank you for being the best mother I could ever have), I love her with all my heart. We had a very long conversation on what my father would say. I've already explained him. He is very loving and we have a great Father-Son Relationship; we are interested in the same things and we get along fine. But my mom said I should wait to tell him (She stated, as he gets older, he gets softer emotionally) so we both decided to wait until an undetermined date. As for my Grandmother, again, she is loving and, I couldn't ask for another one, but she would never ever let the idea of her grandson dating another gay. Again, we both decided to wait to tell her. My brother, very homophobic (but he's the youngest and he is at that stage where anything that is not masculine is not good.) but again a loving brother. Waiting to come out to him. My friends, I came out to 2 one as Bi (because I am scared of what he would say, if I was gay) and one who is gay (asking for advise on whether or not I am gay).

    But this waiting may be more bad than good. I keep sleep talking (neva eva done that before, and they way my sleep talking is sounding, I might come out to my family in my sleep) and I am starting to feel stressed, pent up, and shut out. I don't feel free, I feel oppressed mentally. I'm starting to feel depressed.

    What (Can/should/could) I do?
     
  2. ThatGuy20

    Regular Member

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    It really is what you feel comfortable doing. From the sounds of it your mom really loves you and is OK with it which is good because usually if your mom is OK with it your dad will be since husbands usually agree with their wives just so they don't have to deal with the drama. Your brother will probably be ok with it too. The only real homophobes nowadays are usually either old people stuck in their ways or guys that are in the closet who don't accept themselves.
     
  3. Engine97

    Regular Member

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    Gay
    But my dad is kind of immature. He will do one of two things: Say "Get out" or "Son, I love you, thank you for telling me". My dad loves me, but this would be a complete shock to him. He thinks I have girls swarming all over me, girls begging to... you know. But that's not the truth at all.