I came out to my parents not long ago. They took it well. So I live in a very small, conservative community. My dad seemed really worried about how many people I had told that I'm gay yet. Mostly because he said he didn't want people gossiping about me because it would be 'hard for me'. Then proceeded to tell me stories about gays being beat to death for being gay, which was not helpful. I have come out to a few friends as well as my parents. But the rest of my family and the community doesn't know. The thing that is ticking me off is that bc of what my parents told me I feel like I have to go out of my way to hide my gayness, which, even tho my parents said they weren't ashamed of me, is making me feel ashamed and lonely. I don't want to formally come out and scream, "I'm gay!" to the whole town. I don't really care if everyone knows I'm gay. I just want my friends--the people who matter--to know who I am. So how can I convince my parents I don't need to go out of my way to hide it? I don't want to hide it. It's 2015. My parents are also saying it's not okay to tell people I'm gay because since when is it okay to tell someone who you have sex with, and me, I'm like, coming out isn't about making sure people know who I want to have sex with. I want to come out because it makes me feel secure with myself, and it takes away people's ability to shame me. Whose right? Me or my parents?
Your Right. Its your sexuality and its apart of you. You do what's best and what you are comfortable with. If you are comfortable with coming out to everyone, come out to everyone. Its your choice to come whenever.
Explain to them that this isn't about them, ultimately. This is about you and what you need to do to be happy.
I agree with the aforementioned posts it is your decision but you also have to remember that as coming out is a process for you it is also a process for your family. They said they are not ashamed and I am sure they mean it but they might not be able to show it a 100% yet. That doesn't mean that you need to cushion it for them because this is hard for you and you need to do whatever will help you with this. Coming out is nothing with sex. That would be like saying bringing home a significant other of the opposite gender is talking about having sex. I'm sure that what you are actually wanting is people to support you while you discover what this means for you. What they are doing is wrong. They should be there to support your process, but I think (maybe more so hoping) that they are just confused on how to handle this news themselves. Good luck!
It is definitely your decision. I think your parents want to support you, but they are still getting to terms with it, and might be subconsciously "ashamed" of having a gay daughter. Of course judging by what you told us, they love you very much but this is a big change in their vision for the future too and just like you did, they need to get used to it and understand the whole thing. Just give them time
"Since when its ok to tell people with whom you want to have sex?" The problem is they are not realizing that people already assume you want to have sex with the opposite sex, by coming out of the closet you are just changing what people assume... And actually people already talk about their sex life with friends, in your case you dont want to be explicit you only want for people to know you are gay. So dont hide it if you dont want to ... Also its important to be out as it makes your dating life easier, as other gay people of your same sex can know you sre gay and approach you.
You are right. Your parents grew up in a very different time when being gay was illegal. When I was in my 20s, in the city I live in, two people were found not guilty of murder because the victim was gay. Thankfully most straight people of your age don't see any difference between gay and straight people and only care that you are a nice person and that you are happy. Parents by their nature are over protective, my 92 year old mother still worries about me. Talk to your parents and explain the attitude of your school mates. also listen to your parents concerns after all there are still a few homophobic nutters out there. The important thing to remember is that talking can solve a lot of problems. (&&&)
How tolerant are the community towards gay people in the area you live in? It is parents duty to protect their children and if you are living in a backward area that doesn't tolerate LGTB people especially if the area is prone to violence they might have a valid concern. If you live in an accepting town, city or community then living out in the open is fine, but if you don't live in an accepting area then it might be a good idea to keep things on the low until you are old enough to move and live in an area that is gay friendly.
