I'm not really sure if this fits here... I go to college in NY, and most people there know about my sexual preferences. It was a little easier. Kind of. But now I am back home in MN for break (though I go back in a little over a week), and I keep running into people asking me "How are you doing romance-wise?", and I immediately run to the one and only date I have had this past semester with a guy, which was at the beginning of the year. I tell them all about that one experience in full detail, and then not saying a single word about the two dates I had with women as well, especially the one I had right before break. I find myself wishing I could tell them... ...but I still get hung up on "proof". :bang: I know that we don't need proof for our sexuality to be valid, but I really want to have some sort of sexual experience with a woman before I say anything to anyone. I am so afraid that I am lying to myself about who I like, so I feel like I have to prove to myself my sexuality. The only thing is, the people who I would ask to hook me up are my friends back here in MN, who I am not out to!! I don't know what to do. I just feel horny and lonely all the time, and my MN friends just keep saying "Something will come along!", and I just end up feeling sad and angry. ARRRGGGHH. To make it even better, all of the lesbian bars in NYC are 21+, and I am going dancing this friday at the Gay 90's club, and I am excited to maybe have something happen, but then again, I'll be there with MN friends... :help:
well, honesty does have its rewards. when they ask, you can tell them that you went out on a date with one nice guy, and then you had a couple more dates with a couple great girls. Not only don't you have to have proof, you don't even have to be sure. Just the facts, which are that you have enjoyed the dates with the girls, though you still aren't sure where all that is going. I'm sure that your lesbian friends will take it from there, and be glad to help you get connected. And if you realize that you're not really gay, so what? though, do you really think that's going to happen? don't miss out on a chance to have fun and be happy. you might get yourself stuck in a closet, and I can tell you that it is no fun at all. good luck!
I ttly get what u mean by saying you feel like u need to have been in a serious lesbian relationship to prove ur gay. But I think Wildside gave good advice - just be casual about it. You've dated guys and you've dated girls. You don't need to make it a coming out speech. I'm also unfortunately living at home where no one knows I'm gay and I can't tell anyone, making it extremely hard to meet ppl. It's hard to respond when friends ask if I've been dating, or tell me that I'll find The One soon, so I ttly get where ur coming from.
Unfortunately, coming out isn't a one time thing. It's a gradual process. So it is tempting to go back in the closet, especially when interacting with people who do not know. Be brave, we need more visibility for there to be more acceptance. It is tempting though, to go right back in the closet in new situations.
