My sister just went back to school after winter break. I kept trying to talk to her, told her I'd appreciate a one on one conversation, but she spent most of her time with her boyfriend, so there was never really an opportune moment (she certainly didn't help make one, anyway). So, I settled on a letter. I wrote about three pages of word vomit, managed to edit it down to two pages, then sealed it up in an envelope. Honestly, it still wasn't great once edited, but it was the best I could do on short notice, once it was clear she was too infatuated with her boy toy to give me ten minutes of conversation. Before she left I gave it to her and told her to read it later, once she was back at school and unpacked. She hasn't talked to me about it yet. Actually, with the exception of asking for a school book she gave me back for her roommate to use this semester, she hasn't said anything at all. Now, I'm not too worried. She's a zero conflict kind of person, relatively open-minded. But the thing is, I am worried. Just because I'm an anxious person. I don't know if she read it. I don't know if she'll bring it up again. It's imperative that I find out, because we fly in some of the same circles, and most of the friends in these particular circles that we share already know about my gender identity pretty thoroughly. I need her to know because I'm sick of ignoring it, I want to have these friends specifically call me by a new name and pronouns and help me expand my wardrobe, and I want to have her in on this if she's cool with it, which I think she will be. And I definitely want to know where she stands because I want to come out at home as soon as possible, because I would like to start planning out the physical elements of my transition before the year's out. Do I bring it up? Or do I wait and see if she does? If so, how long should I wait before I convince myself she's avoiding talking about it?
First, Congratulations on coming out to your sister! (!) Once you gave her that letter, you did it. Now, it's good to communicate with your sister on a regular basis. After all, we don't get but so many sisters in this world. Get in touch, see how she's doing, and talk about the letter. You've already taken the hardest step. Good luck with the next step!!! (*hug*)
I was kinda in a similar situation. I went to ny about a month ago and came out to my sister while she was driving me to the airport to leave. She just came to fl for a few days and while we spent a whole day together just us, she never brother it up. I was confused and hurt about it before I realized that she probably thot I wud rather bring it up myself. Your sister might not know how to bring up the subject, or she might assume that u wrote her a letter bec u didn't wanna talk about. The easiest thing for u to do might b to call her up and ask if she read ur letter and if she has any questions.
"Basically I'm ok with whatever would make u more comfortable and hapy, and also I don't know how mom and dad would react but in the end it's what makes u happy u know?" This. This is what I was hoping for. This works for me. Only three people I can think of left to tell now. Then I'm going full time.
