What makes coming out scary to you?

mainly blow back from my STBX, she could try to make things difficult in regards to my son and custody. beyond that, possible blowback from others on him, you know that's XXX his Dad is queer.

 

I worry that they'll hate me. Most of the people I know seem to be transphobic.

 

Mostly worried that they'll try to change me or just treat me differently. Even if they rnt homophobes, most ppl assume that u coming out makes you a different person.

 

I'm not confident enough (yet) to stop having the need for other people's acceptance. I have very few friends, or to be precise, people I'm on good terms with, and I still need them in my life to feel like I'm worth something. I'm afraid that if I come out to them, they would leave me, and then I would be lost. As for family, I have heard quite a few things from my relatives that clearly points to that they hate homosexual people. I don't want to lose them because otherwise they are good people, and maybe they say these things because they don't think it's possible that there's a gay/bi person in the family. Maybe they would reconsider being hateful if I came out to them.
So that's what is keeping me from telling them, the fear of rejection, the possibility of not having anybody.

 

I fear that they'll bully me again and think im going to hit on them when really i have no interest in straight ppl.

 

I feel like my fears are mostly irrational. Sadly that doesn't make them go away :X.
I really don't know why i fear a bad reaction, because i know most of my friends are accepting and open minded, but, still... Scary.
Whenever i think about it i just start having the strongest butterflies...
Maybe i should just try to come out on random times, with no planning. That should make it easier and not allow myself to stop me before i say it.

 

I'm afraid because haters gonna hate and I think they will hate on me big/try to change me.

 

Being treated like a side show attraction...people just want to always find an outlet for there own personal hate.

 

to turn out i wasn't actually homossexual, this fear that some how i may wake up an get random boners from a girl :dry:

Personally i can't find a way to deal with the fear :/

Also i fear that my male friends will just stop being my friends and treat me diferently from what they use to.

 

I've been out for 10 years and I recently went back in the closet. There's still a lot of 'you'll meet the right man one day' and 'open your mind to meeting a guy' from both homophobe conservatives and LGBT supporters that force that 'sexuality is fluid for everyone let's all be open minded' BS. I get lots of harassment and rape threats for not being available to men and that's what scares me about being out more than anything. It's like what was even the point of coming out if I'm disrespected and forced into being with men anyway.

 

My mom. If I had her support than I wouldn't care. Also people thinking I'm disgusting and I do have some internal homophobia. I'm afraid if I come out then people will think that I will want to dress like a guy. I know it sounds stupid.

 

As someone said above - for my female friends, worrying that they'll remember times that we stayed in a hotel room together, etc. and be uncomfortable. Being in the closet, I've seen this often enough - straight girls finding out someone's a lesbian and giggling about how she was hitting on one of them.

But I'm tired of worrying about it and my goal for this year is to come out of the closet.

 

I guess what it boils down to is the feeling of vulnerability and lack of control.

 

For me, it depends on the person. I could be damned what like 90% of my school thinks about me. I'm worried that the 10% (certain teachers, other people who I'm not quite as close with) will be transphobic. At first glance, my school is bully free. The problem though is nobody stands up for things. They'd rather side with the popular vote so they don't get picked on.

But then it's different when considering coming out to my dad. I know he'll support me, I'm just more concerned about him, as he hasn't been doing the greatest either.

Then of course, I hold a leadership position in the Canadian Air Cadets, and there I worry that the kids I'm responsible for wouldn't respect me and be insubordinate.

So as I said, it depends on the person I'm coming out to.

 

fear of homophobic reactions, fear of hateful reactions from people in a position to really hurt me and spread hateful gossip about me, fear of financial consequences. fear fear fear fear fear fear. :icon_mad:

 

I lived amongst phobic people throughout my youth and I lived in a place where my peers thought it was still cool and okay to either joke about or make direct references to the KKK when trying to bully me.

I don't give a shit about those sorts of people anymore because in some warped fashion, threats of violence are easier to deal with because I can physically fight back.

But my family is another matter entirely and dealing with family holding support - financial and housing - ransom is another matter, too... especially when you're someone who is situationally disabled owing to lifelong medical conditions.

When I was still a minor, I pushed myself to become independent as soon as possible so I could escape the conservative and traditional (and later, religious) beliefs of my parents and challenge their 'authority' while standing on my own two feet and not have to worry about fallout.

When I was in university, I thought I was on my way... and then reality kicked in and I got sick. I realized for the first time what it meant to be managing a disabling genetic and chronic health condition on my own and I got really, really, REALLY sick.

On top of it, WWIII (with coming out somewhat involved in it all) broke out between myself and my parents and my parents put me in a position of choosing between something immaterial but critical to myself and continuing support from them.

I chose to separate from them to preserve my sanity and it cost me, dearly.

I lost my job, income, and ability to be independent (from sickness), my school (from sickness), supplementary financial support and emotional and mental support from my family (it all came with a condition based on phobia and I refused the condition), and my health continued to spiral down to the point that my doctors thought that though I was continually testing negative, I must have contracted some sort of auto-immune disorder because I simply wasn't recovering.

When months had passed and I still hadn't recovered from the illness, my parents entreated for me to go back with them... and I finally went back, defeated. Not a word about 'the fight' was spoken and thereafter, it remained a very tense and taboo topic.

The health condition that unexpectedly kicked me in the ass during my university days has only gotten worse in my adulthood as, true to form, the condition's many side-effects that were once negligible have finally had time to mature into actual problems and the situationally disabled problem that I had started facing during my university years have become more apparent.

My ability to be 100% independent is unstable; during times of great sickness, I am unable to work and financially support myself and I hate it and there is little in the way of outside relief or support or aid that can or will help me during those times.

All that explained, coming out is not just scary, it is simply dangerous from a survival point of view.

It's kind of sad; though I spent little on frivolous things and never max out my credit, I keep extended lines of credit (amazingly, I managed to fix my credit after nearly destroying it) open because I'm afraid that I will have to do again what I did before.

The time will come and I know it; I'm just not ready for it to happen again... yet.

 

its not my familys reaction that bothers me since most of my family is gay its my wifes parents im concerned about

 

When thinking about telling new friends or work colleagues, my old habit of feeling uncomfortable about the unknown always comes to the surface.
Even if I don't particularly care what the person thinks of me, the 0.1% chance that they'll react negatively crosses my mind.

 

I haven't come out yet to any of my relatives yet, but a few of my friends know. what i'm worried about is that my mom reacts like she did when i was little: i told her i wished i had been born a boy because if i were a boy, i could have a girlfrend, be a superhero, and pee standing up. she slapped me and told me to never say that again because i would go to hell if i did. so yeah... i don't know how my dad would react because he's very loving to people and has a bunch of gay friends. so umm... yeah. :dry::bang: