I've been looking on this site a little bit for fellow military members or veterans who have came out in the military to see their stories. I've been contemplating coming out but I'm worried about how it will be received by my peers and leaders. I'm in combat arms too, a my troop is exclusively dudes, and i know of some of them specifically that don't like the idea of anybody who isn't straight. Also I'm worried that my leaders might attend to this and switch me to another part of the unit that is more diverse, but these guys are my brothers and it would break my heart to leave them. Just curious if any of yall' have any say on this. Right now I haven't even told my parents that I'm bi, just close friends. That's a whole new animal though. I hate hiding this from people and not being true to myself but I'm worried that it will actually have real word consequences. Thanks guys!
No experience with where you're at, but first of all, thanks for your service. There will be consequences, you just hope there wont be to many negative ones. There seem to be plenty of gay/bi military people in my area, at least according to the dating/hookup apps out there. So, you are probably not as alone as you think.
See now that's what I've figured. ALL of the stuff I've looked up says there's a huge gay/bi community there, I'm just trying to figure out if its my time to join that community ya know? And your appreciation is noticed :}
well I'm retired Royal Canadian Navy and while orientation is officially accepted and discrimination is illegal due to the Canadian Charter of Human Rights, my unit was full of homophobes. and since i only came out to myself less than a year ago but have been retired for years i would not have come out while i was in Uniform. but that's me, you would have to judge your situation for your self. best of luck Cheers.
Thanks friend! That's what I was thinking. I'm kinda fresh to the military game, only a year in, so I'm thinking I'll give it a little bit of time. Also I'm currently deployed and I know for a fact that I shouldn't come out during deployment. And yeah, we have something similar to your Charter of Human Rights, it is technically illegal under the Uniform Code of Military Justice to discriminate based on sexual orientation BUT we all know that most people really don't give a damn about those pesky little rules.
I got until may 2017. I have absolutely no plans to stay in. Here I joined actually wanting to go to war and be in combat and experience being a soldier, however I'm usually just stuck doing layouts, sweeping, maintaining vehicles and such. I really honestly don't care for the military much except I love the people I'm with. I thought about switching my MOS (military job) to Army band bass player, BUUUUT then I'd still have have to deal with the whole rank thing. Once again not a big fan of that. So in short I don't really have that much time left in the grand scheme. I could probably wait it out, but I'm sure you know the feeling of brotherhood you get with the people in your unit. I want these guys to know who I really am, I just don't want it to screw me over.
Been in the British Army for 12 years with another 9 to serve. Out to all and haven't had any adverse reactions, questions now and then that I'm happy to answer and it's a pretty comfortable atmosphere with jokes (banter) here and there.
Oh man it's great that you're serving. I was recently pdq'ed :bang: No experience there to help, but sexuality is only a part of you. It's not what you are completely and there should never be an obligation to come-out. If you trust these guys, it's your call.
Hi fng (effing new guy? lol) I just got out of the Army 2 years ago. I did 9 years. DADT just got repealed before I got out. Everybody seemed okay in my unit with the few everybody kind of already knew were LGBT, ie, we had a SPC whose preferred name was 'Lesbot' and was a Drag King, we also had an S1 clerk who was very pointed about having a boyfriend, and everybody was cool. But, this was a Support BDE. Knowing Infantry guys, I know that the preferred form of bonding is such acts of 'gay chicken' and such, which probably sucks for you, because to engage in such fun, one must pretend to be straight pretending to be gay?!? I think you should be careful. I think you should trust your instincts, if your instincts are telling you to stay closeted during deployment, then go with your gut. Some of these guys could be the most awesome and totally accept you for who you are but a deployment (12mo?18mo?) is a loooong time to be alone with these dudes if it goes off wrong. We want to feel like everyone is our brother, and the bonds we form are very strong. I've got folks I haven't seen in a decade on my FB and I love them still. BUT, not everyone is your friend. 'This I will defend, not here to be your friend'. There are some stories of being targeted during a deployment that would not happen stateside but because they have all the power, it can happen. Go with your gut on it. When you get stateside again, you can get to know LGBT folks in the civvie world, go to clubs, meet online, go on dates, you know? Stay safe! Stay true to yourself but above all, stay safe, and thank you for serving.
I'm a veteran who really envies you guys who have this option. It used to be grounds for court martial and discharge, so we all had to be so secretive and careful not to be caught if we wanted to stay in. And they caught a lot of people. Making it worse was, I was in the Navy and warships were all male, and a lot of really hot guys. It was a tough environment. I can tell you that if I were 21 today an in the military, I would be out from the beginning. I can still vividly remember when I was 19 at the MEPS (I think that meant Military Entrance and Processing Station), there was a question about "homosexual attraction" on the forms. I stared at that question and agonized for what seemed forever, before checking no. I wanted to tell the truth, but I also knew that if I did, my dreams for a career in the Navy would have ended right there. So, I can only encourage you to be honest, and not get caught in the closet. Plus, even though they are completely accepting of LGB (thought maybe not as much T) in the military today, if you're not open and honest about it, it can cost you your security clearance. The mindset is that if you are open about it, no problem, but if you're lying about it, somebody could use that to get you to violate those things that we're not supposed to violate, if you follow me.
Not really the same situation, but I'm in the Canadian Cadets program.. Sort of an introduction to military for youth (although we're not required to join when we age out at 18). We follow most of the same rules that the CF has about discrimination and whatnot, but my squadron isn't exactly in the friendliest neighbourhood. The cadets there aren't known to follow every rule to the letter either. Gosh, I feel like a little baby compared to you guys! :lol: Anyway, I can't really offer much more advice other that what's already been said by others. Best of luck to you!
EYYYYYY Roses and Wildside, REALLY liked yall's responses. Kinda helped me a little bit. Yes I am the effing new guy. also I'm not infantry I'm cavalry but we're just as hooah just not quite as dumb but we're still wildly different than support. It's a whole new beast, I spent a little time with a BSB when I went to train in California and holy jesus is it different. BUT. I love your inspirational talk Wildside. I really wish i could come out and be just as fabulous as I wanna be, BUT, I'm gonna wait for deployment to end first because on top of deployment stress I think this would just add to the madness. I may talk to my platoon leader when we get back because he is 120% knowlegable about how to go about wording things so people don't kill you. And yes, the gay chicken gets awkward as all get out. I've been playing the masculine straight guy role for so long though it's kinda normal. Sorry I don't know how to use quotes or tags or anything yet, still trying to learn the site!
lol I knew fng when I saw it Yeah, I think you're spot on. If you have a good SGT you can totally trust and rely on, that is gold. You can talk to him, and like you said, he can tell you the best way of coming out when you're ready, and you will know ahead of time that he will have your back if anybody messes with you. You will want someone with some rank in your corner. But really like Wildside says you really can be your 'fabulous' self , today in this age things are really different. I'm glad I can help. EC is awesome, maybe if you decide not to come out during deployment, you can work out a lot of your questions and bounce ideas off of the folks here. I'm new and I love EC. Good luck
