I finally came out to my mom last night. It kinda just slipped out, it was really bad timing. She was really upset about and kept saying that I only think I'm gay and wanted to know who was influencing me. She also said she thought it was a tragedy, like I'd told her I had cancer or something. I wasn't expecting her to be thrilled about it, but I wasn't expecting her anger or ignorance. I thought I would feel better once I came out to her but now I'm even more stressed. I was not prepared for this...
I think it's the hardest part of coming out but you have to survive this. I'm not brave as you about coming out to family members and I envy you. You know, almost all mothers carry a torch for their children and I think you'll get through these difficult days together with her. It's not like she won't love you anymore because you came out, almost all parents have sexual taboos unfortunately. When I told my mom that I don't want to be a father so she may not be a grandmother in the future, her question was "What? Are you going to be a gay?". I'm sure my coming out to her will be so hard and painful too. Try to be strong, the only suggestion that I can give you.
Aww, I'm so sorry. Just remember that she will still love you! I'm sure it's just the shock. I think my Mum's reaction will probably be similar. Take it in your stride, and don't let it dent your confidence. (*hug*)
My first suggestion is have patience, and let her go throught the 5 stages of mourning. Dont react angrily at her, be patient with her, if she ask questions just tell her the truth in a calm eay, explain her your feelings. Reassure her you are not a different person, tha tyou just happen to be attracted toward girls, in the same way she is attracted toward guys.
Thanx guys just came out to my dad as well and he actually took it better than my mom which I ddnt expect. He still thinks I'm meant to live my life by the morality code in scripture but he accepted what I said about it not being a choice and how I was born. He ddnt get angry or say that I was making it up. He also made a point to tell me that they only want me to be happy, so I'm relatively grateful for his response.
See there you go. I'm sure she just reacted that way from the initial shock, BC it didn't fit her imagend future for you. With as well as your dad took it, I'm sure hes speaking to her to smooth things out. Heck, I was outed to my mom by my best friend at the time after I told him and he kicked me out. Then she flipped out, quit talking to me and kicked me out. So, I'd say your doing really well on that front and not too worry too much. Everything will work out for you, just be optimistic.
Seek God he loves you and ever since I accepted him. I have asked him to purify me and he did(I still like guys and girls), it was an amazing experience I am who I am. I might be still in the closet, but I have hope I will come out.
The general consensus I've heard is that he doesn't. From growing up in a very catholic household, I've heard nothing but homophobia, which has caused me to resent the church. Sorry, just had to voice my opinion, but, no offence is meant.
Thank you guys for all the supportive comments As far as religion goes, I grew up an Orthodox Jew but am now agnostic. I think there probably is a god but all religions and their teachings are mostly b.s. No offense to anyone intended. I just cannot believe that a god who created the world and loves all people wud damn so many of them.
So good to hear that your father reacted so well. Sorry that it didn't go as well with mom, but having your father on your side will probably bring her along more quickly than otherwise might have been the case. Congratulations on coming out. As painful and dark as it might feel in the moment, it will get better and you will live a true, free and authentic life!
I don't know if I would exactly say he's on my side. He doesn't like it and if I were a boy he would have reacted much worse. But he was calm and rational and willing to listen when I explained the scientific support for being born gay.
