I've known I was gay since 6th grade (I had a project on muscles vs. mussels for homonyms, and found out that muscles were much nicer to look at than mussels). I accepted being gay sometime last year. I'm still in the closet, but am thinking of possible times to come out to my parents. Plan A) Wait 6 years. I go through college and halfway through med school slowly siphoning a little bit of money here and there out of my college bank account that my parents set up for me when I was 6, and hope that I've gotten enough out by halfway through med school to make ends meet and pay for school if they decide they hate me because I am who I am. I'm not sure if I can wait this long. I'll also be far enough away that they can't ship me to gay camps. Plan B) Come out next year during college. College is the time to finally ID myself for who I am and what my beliefs are, and hopefully my parents will love me to see past my "disease." I'll also be far enough away so that they can't come visit me and try to convince me that I'm not gay. Details: I live in what I affectionately call the Bible Buckle of the Bible Belt of the South. Super conservative, and not very accepting of homosexuals. Sure we have a gay population, but it's small. My parents: Roman Catholic Filipinos. My mom's not as strict of a Catholic (we can skip Sunday church every so often, but not that often), and I feel would accept me more. My dad's a strict Catholic (reads religious books for fun, makes us attend Sunday churches whenever he's not working). They grew up in the Philippines, an island nation off the coast of Asia in the Pacific Ocean. This means they put a lot of emphasis on religion, family, and school. Roman Catholicism does not mix with homosexuality, even though Pope Francis might change that soon. Family...well unless more research is done, I won't be able to have the typical 'family' (all genes from both parents, no extraneous genes) like in regular culture. School is school, I make good grades and they're satisfied. They're also both doctors who can connect more dots than I can imagine, so hinting at something won't work, nor will creating imaginary "scenarios" about what they would do if a certain person found out his/her child way homosexual. Me: I don't fill the traditional stereotypes for homosexuality. I'm not skinny, I'm not interested in make-up and clothes, and I have 0 fashion sense. I'm the typical "geek" who has a very tiny social life and spends a lot of time studying. If anybody finds these words offensive, I am trying to change my viewpoint here, and sincerely apologize, no harm was intended as I was trying to explain myself. Additional: I have a little sister. When my parents get into arguments, you can hear them throughout the entire house, and yet they're still married 30 years later. Anyways, my concern is for her. She'll be the only one at home unless I go with Plan A and by then she'll be in college, far enough away that she doesn't have to deal with the fallout of the coming-out bomb I'm going to detonate. Both my older sisters know (they caught me at night looking at ...things). Here's what I'm asking: What is the best plan to come out to my parents? Help me form a logical argument as to why I'm not "sick" that will work with my parents. While I'd like to imagine my parents will accept me, I'm not so sure, and want to prepare for the worst case scenario in case that's the scenario that unfolds. Anymore suggestions? Thank you in advance!
Don't worry about offending anyone when telling your story, and discovering your path. You are who you are. I would say, don't worry about meeting some artificial "traditional stereotype" of being gay. From the various dating/hookup apps I'm on, there is such a broad range of non-straight males out there. I was a big, anti-social, introverted geek growing up and in college. I was so afraid of rejection I never really put myself out there. I know I missed a lot of opportunities for fun and relationships. I don't have much advice on the coming out to your parents. I'm still pretty closeted with my friends and family. Do you have gay friends that are completely out? You might bring that up to your parents, like "I just found out my friend is gay, I don't know what should I do?" Main thing is to stay honest with yourself, and who you see yourself being.
Mr. Kindy, Thank you. The reason I asked for forgiveness is because sometimes I have an odd sense of humor which make sense to me, but offend others. At other times, it's the norm at my school to make derogatory jokes, a bad habit I've picked up on... I plan on loving who I fall in love with, no matter body type, intelligence, maturity, or whatever (with the natural exceptions like major-minor relationships...) Stereotypes are just stereotypes, barriers meant to be taken down. I don't have many openly gay friends. Part of my method for staying hidden was to avoid other gay people like the plague and surround myself with straight guys and girls to hide my homosexuality. Boy will they ever be in shock if they ever find out. If, say, my best friend came out tomorrow ( I have suspicions...), then I'd definitely take your advice, and use him as my lab rat... At this point in my life, I think...that if my parents ask me if I'm straight or gay, that I'll lie and say I'm straight just to protect myself. Much as I'd like to date in college, it's not worth losing the free ride "Parent Scholarship" which is awarded to children who fulfill all their parent's requirements (good grades, "proper" relationships, etc.), and can get a person through med school and college without debt.
Does...anybody....think that Plan A or Plan B is better? Another Plan? Logical Arguments for my parents?
