I've decided that today needs to be the day I tell my husband. We should have the whole day without interruption to hopefully process everything. We are going out for a nice lunch then back home and then "we need to talk". Truth is I'm scared to death. Not that he will get violent, he's not that way. I have it all planned out in my head but, of course, when the time comes, that will all go hell. I don't want to hurt him because he's a good man and doesn't deserve to be hurt, but there's no way around that. I always say that wanting personal happiness and fulfillment is not selfish and yet I'm feeling selfish. I know I can be a people pleaser and I hate hurting anyone in any way so I hate myself for knowing that's what I have to do. I've agonized over this, looking for some other kinder, gentler way but I see none. My future life and happiness can only be realized with another woman. I love him as a person and as a good friend but not as a man, a sex partner or a husband. I'm hoping that the fact we've only been together 10 months will make it a little easier since we don't have a lot of history or family concerns. I've already come out to my son and his wife and it went amazingly well. Better then I had hoped. Maybe this will too. I keep telling myself maybe tomorrow will be a better day to tell him, maybe tomorrow he will be more understanding, maybe tomorrow.... Problem is, tomorrow never comes. We only have today so today it must be. While I can hold on to what little courage I have. I know I'm rambling here but putting this all down here makes it a little easier. Unloading, if you will, as I have no one here (Fla) to cry to about this issue. Oh, I have plenty of friends but none who know or even suspect. Redneck country girls aren't supposed to be lesbian s. LOL I don't want to do this yet I want to get on with my life. I thought I could have the best of both worlds being bi but I know now how unsatisfactory that was. I want the best of both worlds with this too but that's not realistic. There is only one world in this situation and I have to choose and commit to it 100%. Well, I feel somewhat better now but still scared. But it's got to be done. I'm tired of hiding it.:tears: Wish me luck, my new friends.
You could see it that way that you give each other the chance to be more happy. This would set him free to find a partner who could fulfill him even more. Chances are he might know that on a deep level, you did not click. Wishing you luck. (*hug*)
Good luck. I once read that it takes two months for every year that people have been together to get over the breakup. so, for example, a couple that has been together for 30 years would need five years (60 months) to get over the breakup. Maybe that's just silly, I don't know. But it is logical that it would take as long to get over a ten month marriage. But, emotions are funny things. I hope that he immediately understands and recognizes that there was always something there that didn't seem right. My thoughts are with you. and again, good luck.
I hope everything goes well. I'm having trouble deciding whether or not to tell my husband about something similar.
Thank you so much for your words of support. I feel the same way. I have to tell you it went down in a way I'm still amazed at. When I can process it and get it all straight in my head, I'll put it in the coming out stories thread.
Thank you for your kind words of support. They are truly appreciated. I had always heard 1 month/year but once you get to a certain point in longevity, like 20 years or more, I can see the 2 month thing as more realistic. All I can say about yesterday is "WTH just happened here?" I am still amazed at how it all worked out. As soon as I can make sense of it all, I'll post it in the coming out stories. ---------- Post added 18th Jan 2015 at 07:39 AM ---------- Thank you for your kind words. I know there is life on the other side, I just wish it didn't require hurting someone to get there. It was hard but it all happened so differently than I thought it would. I'm still not sure what happened. LOL I will post it in the coming out stories thread as soon as I can make sense of it.
Thank you for your words of support. It was hard for me to do but I knew, if I were to be true to my self and realize the future I wanted, then it had to be done. When it's the right time for you, I think you'll know. I'm still in awe of how it all went down. In no way how I thought it would. I always knew he was an amazing man but I never saw this coming. As soon as I can make sense of it, I'll post it in the coming out stories thread. Maybe it will be of some help to you. ---------- Post added 18th Jan 2015 at 07:56 AM ---------- Thank you, happyhamster. Of all the outcomes I had envisioned (none of them particularly good) a celebration was the one outcome I never saw coming.(!)
I'm glad it sounds like it went better than you expected, I look forward to hearing more best wishes you!
Thank you for your support and kind words. Yeah. Hollywood couldn't come up with a better outcome. Getting ready to post it.
I like your ratio a lot better!!! It gives me more hope. Plus, you're probably right. I only read this once, and I was having a hard time remembering what I read. That still means three years for me, though if I were to ever have the courage to come out, or just be outed, I doubt that it would take me as long. I think that we have been in the moving apart process for a while. Anyway, the thread's not about me. What I really wanted to say was CONGRATULATIONS!!! I'm so happy that it worked out well for you. (!)(!!)(!)
