crush on friend, tell her i'm questioning?

well, I've started another thread, but I think I should kinda move it to here, as I'm thinking of telling my friend I'm questioning my sexuality. Here I will explain everything quickly, but you can look at the other tread aswell [http://emptyclosets.com/forum/sexual-romantic-orientation/165298-lesbian-bi-maybe.html]

So, I've been in class with my (female) friend for about 2 years and I've known her for about 4. I've developed a crush on her and it's made me question my sexuality. Because at first, I didn't see it as a crush, but when I started questioning myself I saw that I had this crush on her. I really really like her a lot and know that if I would tell her I've a crush on her, our friendship will be different, but she is my closest friend. I don't feel like telling my parents is a good idea (yet) because I'm still questioning myself and figuring out what I am. right now, I think I'm kinda bi, but more leaning towards girls than guys, but like I said, I'm not sure. I really want to talk to her, but I don't know what to expect. I haven't told anyone I've questioned my sexuality except here...
I've been searching the internet about this and saw that people wanting to come out had this feeling of a weight on their chest lifting when telling people. Back then I'm like, I don't know, I don't want to tell anyone anything. But now I do have think feeling I'm carrying a weight with me, and one second I want to tell her and the next I'm afraid and glad I didn't...
So, yeah, thanks for replying

 

Ohmygod, I'm so sorry, but I came out to her, I didn't tell her she's my crush, but I'm still taking it slow, about that topic...
I've been wanting to tell her I'm questioning my sexuality and I might be bi/lesbian. But today, I've heard a lot of people talking and dropping 'gay' and someone was talking about an Australian kiss(if you don't know what it is, google it, haha ) and I was super super super anxious to tell her.
So we were biking, and I tried to steer the conversation to crushes, because we just found out a friend of us has a crush on someone we know. And I asked her if she had a crush, and she told me she has a crush on a guy, but I don't know him. But she didn't ask me!!!
But anyways, we ended up talking about an interview and gay people (not my idea, hers!!) and I told her I wanted to tell her something, but she couldn't tell anyone, about it. So she's like: okay? And I say: ''Okay, well, I have a crush on someone, but... (long feeling silence) it's a girl (another century long silence). Okay, so, is it the first time you've had a crush on a girl, or...? me: yeah, kinda, but when I think back, I feel like I've had other crushes on girls... (I also told her I did like guys, but I just don't really know, and I can't label myself, at least not right now) And she's like: yeah, of course!
And she tells me something I totally didn't know!!! Because she said: well, I actually also thought I might not like guys, but girls... But now I like a boy, so...
so, yeah, that was a surprise!!!

I'm anxious and curious (weird, I know), if this will affect/change anything in our relationship (as friends) good or bad...

 

yes, it was really difficult, but surprising to hear that she was(/is?) questioning her sexuality aswell, so yeah Yeah, hopefully

 

Nope, I'm sorry, I'm just really frustrated about it, because she hasn't brought any of it up since AND, she's been sick for a few days... So, I know it might sound weird, but I'm just so freaking frustrated that she's sick, because she's sick pretty quickly, but I also know her parents are really easy about staying home sick... :/ But now she's really got the flu and just gaaaaaaaaaaaah, frustration, because I just miss her, you know? We've got quite a few of hours between lessons and normally I would spend them with her, and now I'm alone, or just something pops into my head at random, and I just want to know what she thinks... Just really frustrating, so I'm hoping she'll be back soon

 

thanks but what little signals? I mean, I think I'm pretty bad at reading people, sooo, IDK, could you help me?? BTW, she's probably coming back tomorrow, or so she said when we were texting

And do you guys think I should tell her She's my crush or not?

 

@wildside thanks

 

she wasn't at school today, so tomorrow(I hope she'll be there, but I'm assuming she will *fingers crossed*, I'll try to look at her actions and reactions more carefully

 

ugh, she wasn't... And normally she doesn't really look a lot on her phone, so when she's sick, she doesn't reply to anyone who sends a message... But today she did, and she said she was going to be at school tomorrow!! I'm so happy, but also kinda freaking out, because I kinda feel like hugging her, not just as my crush, but also as a friend, because she has been sick for over a week and I'm really really happy to see her again

So what do you guys think? Should I hug her? Because it would be at school, and I defenitely don't want any attention from people, and I don't want to emberass her, but she isn't a person who gives a **** what people think about her, sooooooo

 

Yeah, you're right, I think she'll be bubbly, but I'm not sure, so I will turn my sensors up on high Thanks again

 

Hey!! update:
I didn't hug her, it was pretty hectic at school and there were a lot of people between us, and I didn't wanna hug her later, because that'd be like: why'd you hug me? or something, IDK :/
Uhm, so she was at school, and she was pretty bubbly overall, but gaaaaah, my feelings are getting irritating, BC she's just talking and having fun with another girl and I just get soo frustrated and jealous, just like: she's just talking, but still, you know?
I've been getting some really mixed signals, because she was pretty touchy feely at times, but other times she'll just sit completely across me, and she doesn't seem to notice me at all, but we did have a lot of fun, so yayy
Oh yeah, the other day, she was wearing a blouse, and she suddenly said: ''I kinda feel like Hannah Hart wearing this shirt" but, if you don't know, Hannah Hart is a youtuber and is lesbian, sooooooo, what the hell does this mean??? I mean, it could be completely innocent and I'm stupid and just overthinking, but it could be a freaking huge hint to me too, like: I AM like Hannah Hart, and I'm a dumbass for not noticing or seeming to notice... so what do you guys think?? BTW, we're going to a concert (with one other friend, but still! And the other friend's really cool too, but she's really just a friend)
Oooooh, and that I have a huge crush on my friend won't stop me from actually exploring my feelings and whom I feel attracted to, and I've defenitely seen some girls at school, and I've been like: wow, she's really hot, now I'm really just checking everything out, which I didn't before, and sometimes I'm like: wooow, I hope no one sees me looking at them like this... (literally and figuratively :b) and I'm defenitely physically attracted to them, but with my friend it's really the emotional connection and physical and the friendship, and it's sometimes not really sure where the friendship ends and the uhm, crush thing begins, you know, I

 

well, she ain't out in any way, and it was at school, so I couldn't really ask why, because I don't expect her to say something about being bi or anything at school, when it's pretty crowded, so, yeah... Otherwise I would've asked: Why? or something like: but is there more?
But anyways, I think I've found a pretty easy way to check my theory... If I wear a blouse next week to school, it could be casual, but if she wore/said it with a message, she'd probably get it, and if not, I'm just wearing a blouse... Right????
BTW, I never ever wear my blouse to school, I just don't, not a particular reason, so it's not like I wear it every week, because that wouldn't stand out...