Recently I have steadily come to the conclusion that I am genderfluid. My husband has always known that I am bisexual and he is completely okay with gay, lesbians and bisexuals. The problem is that he is not nearly as open about trans at all. I feel like I should probably just keep it to myself and be a woman for him, and/or just stay in my pajamas when I feel like a man. I really need some advise on what I should do.
One thing I have learned the hard way is that you have to kind of be selfish when you come out to people. You can't change who you are for him. I've also learned that people are quick to accept sexuality over gender identity. I know that is an over-generalization, but I've noticed it quite frequently. You should probably talk to him about it in depth. Tell him this is how you feel and you really need to express it. If you don't express yourself the way you want to you're going to be miserable.
I absolutely agree with being yourself and not hiding who you are. But I think that it is almost as important to always be truthful to your partner. Lying can only result in worse hurt on both sides and it's never healthy to keep large secrets like that in a relationship. So I also agree that as soon as you are comfortable, you should talk with him in depth and be honest and up front about everything. Make sure he understands what it means and how you feel; a lot of people don't understand what genderfluid even means. The people I've come out to haven't, so be prepared to explain. Whatever you decide, I hope it goes well for you!
Agreeing with the others. I've found for me personally that staying in the closet was a lot scarier than coming out. It may take your husband time to wrap his head around it but at the end of the day he loves you and will hopefully just want you to be happy.
