Okay so lately ive been playing with the idea of coming out to my Grandfather. To give you an idea what hes like, heres a basic overview: He was born & Raised Anglican, but converted to Catholicism[sp?] when he married my grandmother. He's not devout, ive spoken to him a few times about religion and he sounds like a skeptic, and he questions everything, heaven, hell, sodom&gomorrah, etc. I have heard him use racist, and homophobic comments before, the homophobic ones were referring to only gay men, not women. I am too nervous to bring up women, cause i dont want him suspecting till im ready to come out to him [if i ever do]. Hes very negative and old-fashioned, and its his way or the highway. My mom told me not to come out to him, because "he wouldnt understand" I really want to, i hate lying to him, but i dont know. From what ive told you guys, what do you think?
I truly believe that Grandparents are more accepting than our Parents are. Generally, this is supported by the idea of our crystallized intelligence which is our built-up intelligence throughout life. Old people are usually wiser and smarter, and thus more accepting and open-minded. This, of course, has no real world value because we cannot generalize based on a small percentage of people. Not many people in the hetero-world openly say they are supportive of gays. But the day will come! I think it would be a good decision to tell your grandfather, especially if you are close with him. Good luck and I wish you the best.
kh23172 is totally right. Grandparents do seem to be more accepting than parents. They have loved and lost and know what that is like. They usually don't want to inflict that kind of pain on their grandchildren. They want them to be happy and loved. So I say go for it!
My grandpa called people ni--ers until we adopted a black kid. My other one is very very very conservative. Wise grandparents not always the case. How close are you to him?
Agreed. My grandparents on my dad's side, the crazy ones, didn't fall over dead or make any effort to excommunicate my parents from the family or anything like that (at least that I know of), although to be honest, I haven't seen them in two or three years now. My mom's parents have been very good about it, and I was surprised when my super-religious grandmother really got along with the guy I was dating last Christmas and how sad she was when we broke up. Me being gay wasn't even an issue.
Yeah, tell my about it. On mom's side, my grandfather always acts like an SS officer. But grandmother is so much nicer. Not just beacuse of the candy she gaves, she listens.
Im close in the sense that i see him a few times a week. We talk for a good hour or so, and then I leave. Im not close to him in the sense that he will be the first person i call when i get a new job, or i get accepted to a school or something, but he is one of the first people i tell after my mom and stuff. So I would say...we're close-ish, but not super close.
I think it's true about them being accepting about it. My grandma loves gay people she's had a few friend that are, male and female. She's just as great as my mom is about it. Even if he "wouldn't understand" like your mom thinks, he should still want you to be happy.
I'm going to have to disagree. In my experience grandparents are much less accepting (not that I'm out to anyone) but during my freshman year of HS I went to a dance with a puerto rican boy (who just happens to be gay, but I didn't know that for another year) and they were not fond of that at all. They didn't use so many words, but they kept saying how all the other boys (that went with my girl friends) were so much cuter than he was (which was not true, in most people's opinions). My grandparents learn sooo far right I wouldn't dream of coming out to them. Hopefully your grandparents are not the same as mine.
