I posted an ad on craigslist stating I was just coming out and was looking for friends to chat with and share the coming out journey with. So I get an ad from this woman I'll call Sally. Sally is clearly intelligent and very caring. We exchanged a few e-mails then called each other. Our first conversation was mostly the gettting to know each other stuff. The next night she knew I didn't get off work until 10pm and that I had a 20 min walk home. She calls me 2 min after 10 and we talk during my entire walk. She wanted to know if my route was safe or not. Then she quickly progresses into the butch/femme discussion. She was so quick to label me as femme in all aspects of my life. I'm not into labels but if forced anyone who knows me knows that I am definitely more butch than femme. I don't like labels, but whatever. Then she starts pressuring me to tell her what my sexual fantasies are and what I want done to me the first time we have sex (which would be my first time ever). I told her I had some fantasies but that I am a go with the flow kind of person. Without outright slamming me she slammed me about it. Then she wanted to know what I do and what I think about when I pleasure myself. She told me several times about other girlfriends she had and quickly proposed to. I kept trying to end the conversation but she wasn't letting me go easily even though she knew I just worked a 12 hour shift and wanted to get a shower and go to bed and that I very likely was going to work in the morning. Half an hour later she calls me telling me she can't sleep and asks me to be her girl. When I said that I was not ready to commit she got upset and I am so proud of myself because I didn't back down. I told her I am looking for friends and that it was going too fast for me. She was trying to put a guilt trip on me by telling me "well, that doesn't help me sleep" (she has sleep issues and it is very important she gets plenty of sleep). Between phone conversations there has been the e-mails. She is giving me all these links to websites that I just have to check out. Then she said she found a place for us to meet (we live about 5 hours away from each other). She said that the reason she is butch is because she planned this meeting and I'm just going along with it so I am femme. Once again she is pushing the hard core labeling. Then she goes on to write that she had several dreams that she was making out with me and has never dreamed about any of her girlfriends. I am quickly getting the feeling she is so very dominate, even to the point of being obessive. So, am I crazy or is Sally pushing things way to fast? Is asking about sexual fantasies and what I do to pleasure myself normal second conversation topics? I know I'm new to this but I can't help but think this chick is crazy.
Wow! Run! lol! This woman sounds a little (?) nutty.I would keep my distance,if I were you. Thank God you live 5 hours away! But I think you already know all of this. Next time you talk,tell her that you're not ready for all of this. Unfortunetly,you never know who you're going to find ,on the internet.You really need to be careful. Hopefully,she'll just take no,for an answer.If not,you may need to change your number. Good luck. Mickey*
She is crazy. Run. Run fast and run far. Going anywhere or doing anything with her is nothing but a train-wreck waiting to happen.
steer welll away from her! geez..:eek: no your not crazy, but she sounds like bad news. of course shes pushing too hard. sounds like she has sex on the brain and that shes more interested in getting into your knickers rather than getting to know you as a person. she probably does like to be the one in control, but she also sounds insenstive, controlling, possessive, and demanding and well, crazy. obviously your instinct is telling you the same, so just completely stop all contact with her.
Possessive, that was the word I was searching for. Thanks! I just sent an e-mail telling her I was breaking it off and wanted no further contact with her.
I just got an email from her and she said she was not going to contact me again. But she said I could contact her for "friend" stuff. (she put the " " around friend in her email) Ummm, NO I will not be contacting her for anything.
Hi there. You have done the right thing by ending your contact with her. She obviously was looking for more than you were when she responded to your ad. That's going to happen alot. However, don't give up hope. Be very clear about what you want, and stick with it. I actually met a very good friend the same way - through an ad on CL. I actually got a number of very good and sincere responses, and one guy is still a good friend today - 18 months later. It helped me a lot to have a live, in-person, friend who was also gay and understood what I was going through. So no - you're not crazy. You're doing everything right. Good luck!
Wow-she sounds like a total control freak. I'm glad that you were insistant and it's good that you cut off contact. Have a complimentary hug (*hug*)
You will meet some nice people online and some, like this woman, who are not so nice. I have met some guys online who I like and have become good friends with and others who were like the woman you encountered. I would not respond to any of her emails or take her calls. She will soon get the message and leave you alone.
