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Unacceptance

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by rainbowrunning, Jan 22, 2015.

  1. rainbowrunning

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    I am not ready to come out yet but for when I do, I'd like to know.
    1) What's your advice for coming out to a conservative family who believes being gay is a choice and wrong?
    2) What's your advice for dealing with family cutting you off or not being able to go home? Because that'll probs happen.
    3) For my fellow Christ followers: how can I get people to understand I'm not leaving the church and my faith is still #1 in my life.
    4) Also for fellow Christ followers: I just want some prayer to get through this and for going to a private Christian university next year and finding that special someone who accepts me (if they're a guy) and loves Christ.
    Thanks. :icon_bigg :help: (&&&)
     
  2. gasian

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    1) Siblings work wonders. My older sisters found out first, and once my plans are complete, I'll tell my parents and little sister.

    2)I'm thinking of earning money during college that will be deposited into a separate bank account under my name, then when I come out (about halfway through med school), I might have enough money to finish and start working. My sisters will support me (not financially), and I hope that my friends will support me, all non-financially of course.

    3) I'm still figuring this out. If I may, what's your religion/denomination? Catholicism for me...well I guess that I can just continue to lead by action instead of words.

    4) I'm questioning my beliefs at the moment, (sometimes a resounding yes, sometimes a heck no) but I'll keep you in my thoughts!
     
  3. Lanker

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    1) When you come out to your family, give them time to digest everything and see how it goes from there. If they don´t agree with your views, you will (unfortunately) need to cut them off of your life.

    2) Wait until you have a stable job and move out so they won´t be able to kick you out.

    3) & 4) Sorry, I´m an atheist :icon_redf

    Good luck :lol: (&&&)
     
  4. rainbowrunning

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    Hi! Thank you very much. I am nondenominational.
     
  5. gasian

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    From the nondenominational church-y people at my school, they don't seem to give a fuck. Like, just say you're gay and you'll be okay. Isn't the whole point of nondenom Christianity supposed to be about not judging? If you were, say Church of Christ, I would have suggested staying in (sorry to any CoC out there, but my CoC "friends" consider homosexuals freaks, and transexuals horrible). But, a nondenominational church, in one of the more liberal states in the nation, should be easy-ish. Hopefully, they'll just give you a stare that says "your point?" If not then...

    If I stay in the Catholic church, I will try to lead by example. Have you read the Scarlet Letter? It's a soporific sappy novel, but somedays I feel like Hester Prynne, who will be shunned by the "holier than thou" Puritans in her town because she did what she felt right rather than easy. After she showed them how kind she really was (feeding the hungry, making clothes for the poor, etc.), the townspeople finally had a paradigm shift, and were not as horrible as they used to be.
     
  6. PatrickUK

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    It's important to consider the timing very carefully, especially if you need the support of your parents to get through university. If they cut you off emotionally and financially at such a critical time, will you be able to cope without their support? If coming out is likely to jeapordise your future, it may be better to wait until you are more independent. It's not always an easy decision to make, especially if you are ready to come out, but we do need to look at the bigger picture.

    Before coming out to parents, build up a support network for yourself. Tell friends and any relatives who you can rely upon for help, comfort and a place to go. If your parents are very conservative, you may need these people. Also remember that this forum is part of that support network. :slight_smile:

    Concerning question 3. You demonstrate your commitment to Christ and the church with your commitment to Christ and the church. Find a good, accepting church (of which there are many) and join them for worship and fellowship as often as you can. That's what I try to do. Sometimes, your actions speak louder than words. Also, include Christ and a welcoming church in your support network.

    Concerning question 4 - consider it done. :slight_smile:
     
    #6 PatrickUK, Jan 24, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2015
  7. CraigRacer

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    Me too! Nice to meet you. Outside of my church I haven't met any other nondenominational Christians. :smilewave

    1) Sorry. I don't have any advice for you per se, but just know that you aren't alone. Whenever I come out to my parents I know that I'm going to have to have a conversation about how this is not a choice, and that it can't be wrong. About how I've prayed to God and asked Him to make me straight (insert appropriate orientation here), yet He hasn't. Honestly I'm not looking forward to that conversation, but it's necessary for me to have it.

    2) Patrick spoke to this point already, but I just want to add something. I know it seems like our parents won't accept us and may even disown us, but I think the likelihood of that happening, at least in your and my cases, is slim to none. But you know your parents better than any of us could. So plan/act accordingly.

    3) Patrick got this one too. Action and conversation. That is if you feel like explaining yourself to other people.

    4) Absolutely.

    Much Love! (*hug*)
     
  8. rainbowrunning

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    Nondenominational is more just not fitting with any certain denomination. My church does believe in hate the sin, love the sinner but it's no doubt I'll get people who tell me they are praying that God will make me straight. Don't be mistaken, Washington is only known as liberal because of the west side. My area is extremely conservative.