You will need to read part one to understand what is going on, and you will have to read part 2 to understand why I'm sad. To read part 1, please click here:http://emptyclosets.com/forum/showthread.php?t=16555 To read part 2, please click here: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/showthread.php?t=16612 -- So word got out. (I may have told some one... :eusa_doh Stuff spreads fast! All through lunch today, I would get little comments here and there. I'm 99% sure he got them too. So as I was walking through the cafeteria, I saw him at the till buying 3 chocolate cookies, his total came to $2.25 (observant.) I went up to him and he gave me the cold shoulder and he looked so sad. I was talking with him but he wasn't at all replying so I thought I should leave. I did. All throughout the next class, I felt very bad. I had to go and open my mouth and now he is extremely embarrassed for what he thought wouldn't see the light of day. The last class of the day was the class we both had together. He wasn't there. I got to the conclusion that he skipped or went home. I feel very bad! I hope our friendship isn't ruined! I couldn't careless about the sleepover I has spoken about. I would just kick myself if my big mouth ruined out friendship. Does anyone have any advice? How can I apologize?
Well, I remember part I, and that was cool.. but part II doesn't really explain why you're sad. I am a little curious though, you said he was as straight as an iron rod, but do you think he might like you now? How did he react when he said you guys were friends with benefits? Just curious because that sounds crazy cool to get uber hot guy to let you touch him then he comes on to you.. From what I think, he's just really embarassed and doesn't want to be labled gay. You guys can play it off, I know you can. I've seen preps do that in my school all the time and everyone just jokes and laughs it off. At the momment he's just really sensitive.. but I suppose it depends on how you told people :/ You have to answer that! You can't just sorta tell someone all giggly because it looks really bad. You'd have to have joked with it :/... still, your out status is zero so if you were eachothers secrets, then .. well, I don't want to make you feel worse than you already do. The best I can say is give it some time to blow over (with him more specifically) and do your best to laugh it off with everyone else..
yea that's a tough thing i know what its like. you promise you wont tell anyone about something that happened and you tell just one person thinking oh what can it hurt and all the sudden its all over school yea i know exactly how that feels ugh. here is what i would do write him a letter or leave him a message apologizing and tell him that he don't have to forgive you or trust you because what you did was wrong and he has every right to be angry but that you feel horrible and that you would do anything just to keep your friendship together and that you promise never to say anything again. thats what i have done apologizing always helps i mean his hurt may not heal right away but at least by saying sorry your sucking out the poison you know what i mean? well i hope this helped. keep us updated.
/FACEPALM You by no means are completely screwed, but you've done some damage. I don't have any advice for you other than that information such as the one in your stories should be for you, and you only. Not for the people at high school. Kids are F'in VICIOUS in high school.
Thanks guys, I think a letter would allow me to carefully word my apology without fumbling through it face to face.
Letters are nice. You can go over it as many times and you want. It allows you to be careful in your wording. It means a lot, as long as your sincere.
I have drafted an apology letter, please tell me what you think: **** is where I blocked out names. How would you suggest I give it to him?
Umm before you do off sending an endearing apology how about you actually find out what's going on first? Why people always assume that the obvious is always correct?!
I think you should be very careful how you give him the letter because if people see you giving him a letter and know what happened, they will decide that it is a love letter or something. the other thing is, if you give him a letter, people will believe what happened more than if you didnt. its a tricky situation, you need to apologize to him, but make sure that you dont end up causing a scene because it sounds like he is already embarassed. When you do give him the letter, dont ask him if he has ready it. You gave it to him, and he will read it when he's ready to. He will also talk to you when he is ready, theres no point embarassing him further or frustrating him by asking him if he read the letter or if he forgave you. I hope all turns out well, and remember that in highschool, nothing stays a secret for long after it leaves your lips.
Hi there! I think it might be best if you waited a bit with giving him the letter. Give him the chance to cool off a bit. Giving him the letter now, might not change anything. I doubt if he will read the letter. It sounds like that he is very upset with you. That said, what exactly did you say about the sleepover? If you just said that I had a sleepover and he came over, it seems innocent enough. On the other hand if you said a lot more and gave details as to what happened, then I think the letter would be appropriate. However, are you sure that he is upset because you mentioned something about the sleepover? On the letter itself, I would suggest that you take out "I cannot say this will never happen again because no one can tell the future, but I can however guarantee that I will try damn hard to make sure I don’t put our friendship at risk again" as it gives him one more reason to think twice as to whether he should trust you in the future. I think it would be better if you'd replace it with: "I will never place our friendship at risk again. I want you to be able to trust me. I know it will take time for you to be able to trust me again, but if you give me the chance I will prove it to you that you can." Hope this helps!
Well, I hate to say it, but you've possibly just ended a friendship. I know from experience. You really have to be careful with your wording. He became uncomfortable when you were talking about the whole incident (pt 2), so in your letter you might want to replace "won’t jeopardize what we have." with something else, it makes it sound like you've got more than a friendship and that could put him off. Personally, I wouldn't give him a letter at all. To me, it just seems kind of insincere that you weren't brave enough to say it to his face.
well you could sart with "mate i realy am sorry can we talk..." and then go on from there tell him how bad you fell.
I'm not sure it's good to have a physical hard copy of it in case he throws it out and someone finds it, but I suppose if you emailed it to him he might not read it. Wait a bit before giving it to him. Maybe a few more days.
Something along the same lines happened to me a couple years ago. It's almost exactly what you're saying happened. My best advice to you is to take a week to cool things off. It's highschool. Things pass over fast. Also letters are a bad idea. I tried that. It may allow you to express what you want to say, but it makes matters worse in the long run. I wish I didn't have to go to work like, right now, so PM if you want to hear more about how my situation started, ended, destroyed my friendship, and how I think you can help yours.
