I'm so disgusted by my youth pastor!

Honestly, I would pull him aside and tell him it's OK and life is great and everything you want to tell him. You say you know him, so it's not some random stranger. You overheard, so what, if it's to help he won't be mad at you for hearing. Of course tell him you're gay (lesbian) too, so he'll feel a connection with you.

I mostly recommend this because, in all likelihood, he made a BIG effort to talk to someone about it and that person completely destroyed him for it. That means not only will he'll feel like crap about being gay, he'll be afraid of talking about it with more people.

Finally, giving him For the Bible Tells Me So is indeed a very good idea, or at least summarize! That documentary is so effing good.

That's my opinion.

 

I would pull him aside, tell him I overheard and briefly appologize, then tell him the million things wrong with what the YP told him. Assure him he is still loved. He's probably very, very upset by the YP's reaction and likely depressed. I'd hate to see anyone become extremely depressed over something like this. You need to do something. Do not sit idly by.

This is also why I stopped going to Youth Group.

 

I completely agree with acorn7

I can't help but feel he's in pieces after working the courage up to talking to someone he thought he could trust and have that person humiliate him. When I was first coming out, I would have loved to have someone tell me everything's okay.. I pretty much got a cold shoulder from my "trusted friends". This kid got a public execution :[

 

Ugh, poor guy. It must have been so disappointing to have someone react that way.

You should totally talk to him. D:

 

Absolutely talk to him. Don't pressure him to come out to anyone, don't dump too much on him all at once, but I would get a private talk with him at the next opportunity. You don't even have to bring him into a separate room, just some quiet support out of hearing range for other people.

 

Yes! He needs to hear from an understanding person right now! Please talk to him.

Now for your ass of a youth pastor.........is he employed by your school? If he is, you need to make a complaint. What he did was totally inappropriate.

 

Talkl to him, he needs someone. It only takes one person to make a difference, stranger or not.

 

I agree with what's been said. You should definitely talk to him and make sure he's doing okay. Make sure he feels comfortable and that you are always there if he needs someone to talk to.

 

So he said this at church or in your school? I'm confused.

 

What I got out of it is that it is at church and they have a youth group there that u can go to after school if u want

 

Youth pastors have such tremendous power. I feel so sorry for Neil.

I was sexually abused when I was 7/8 years old. When I was 14 I was having a really hard time dealing with it so I talked to my youth pastor. Guess what he told me? He told me it was MY fault because I was old enough to do something about it. The thing is that at the time I told him (16 years ago) he had a daughter who was 7. Would he look into her face and tell her that if she was sexually abused that it was her fault? I think this incident (and several others similar to it but with different adult men) made it more difficult for me to come out because I thought if I can just get over it and my anger towards male authority figures I would be straight. I got over it and even forgave him (and the others) but I am still a lesbian.

The vast majority of youth pastors are good but there are a few who are so out of line and really mess kids up.

 

I think she meant the boy is in her youth group and goes to her school as well.

 

If i were you I would be pulling aside both him and your YP.

 

Talk to him. He didn't deserve that kind of reaction he got for his youth pastor.

 

Talk to him, he deserves it, nobody should have to get that reaction. Chances are he really DID make a huge effort to someone he thought he could trust, and it backfired. Just let him know that you're there for him, and if he ever needs someone to talk to, just to let you know or something like that. It'll help a lot.

 

Oh that makes me sick! How could a youth pastor say that? These people can say the cruelest thing to kids. When my niece was 5 a Sunday School teacher told her that if she didn't "behave" she would go to hell.

 

Wow, that sounds REALLY familiar! I did the same thing, I thought my youth pastor would you know, actually care about me. So one day I went and talked to him (he was 26, really nice). I ended up coming out of the situation more depressed, lost, confused and hurt than ever before. I also had a meeting set up with him, and my pastor and a threat that if I didn't show up my parents would have to come too.

What did that do to me? Well I haven't attended more than a Easter or Christmas service since. I miss church horribly, but I cann't stand being so alone.

If someone had handed me the "the Bible tells me so" DVD I would have been so grateful. I would have been embarassed, but at least then I would know the truth. It took me three years after this incident to find that DVD and accept that they were just closed minded and that I was not going straight (pardon the pun...) to hell.