Nearly coming out

I can relate to this. I'm also ready to come out but I'm afraid my family will no longer want to have me as their daughter.. I've already come out to a few of my friends and they've been supportive but my family is a whole other thing!

Do you think that your friends will support you or are you completely unsure? Sometimes it could help to come out to a best friend before family but it's different for everyone ofc

Anyway, good luck and if you want to talk I'm here

 

Could have written that myself. This evening I was sitting in the living room with mum and I wanted to tell her, I was just going to say the words " mom... I have to tell you something". But I couldn't do it. I was so afraid of what she'd say/think. I totally understand what you mean when you say you're ready for people to know the real you. I feel the exact same way. Sometimes I think, f*** it, I'll make a video and post it to facebook and just get it all over with all at once...but of course, I don't lol... it sure is frustrating to be in this position!

 

This was the message of the day my "Transform" app had to say today. Thought it would be helpful for you guys as well for this situation.

I have not yet come out to my parents as well (plan on to, but I'm still trying to work out my identity/acceptance/pride thing first before presenting it to them..I have told my friends though since they see me on a daily basis), so I do feel the same idea of fear of what-if and how do dynamics change. Its a big deal to throw in a loop to the ideals of the people who have raised you for so long. But as I've found in personal experience with telling friends, and hearing other people' s stories telling their parents, is that its truly the biggest deal to YOU. It is your life, and you can' t change things for other people. Telling your parents is going to be a truthful experience/bond that you will have with them and while they might initially be confused, your relationship will be stronger and more open. After all you won' t have this little secret to hide that parents can sense their children have. People who care about you should (and usually are) appreciative of intimacy and connection. Sorry if Im rambing on but the point I'm trying to make here is holding back is also holding back a healthy dynamic and in turn creating one of insecurity and distance. Don't worry about if this is going to disappoint them because it probably won't..it'll more than likely bring you guys closer together (and who knows it might even help your mom to resee you in a transformative way)

And as far as your friends, you'll probably be surprised by them. For me coming out to them has probably gave me the highest feeling I' ve had of acceptance and bodage to date, ever. Your true friends will be there for you.

In any case though, be strong and good luck!

 

Sometimes it's worth thinking about coming out as your destination, but to get there, you need to take a journey. Sometimes the journey is short and easy, other times it's long and rather arduous, but the journey must be made. So even though you are ready to tell your parents (the destination is in sight), you are not quite there yet.

Don't beat yourself up too much if you have 'nearly' moments. I had many nearly moments before I finally managed to tell my parents. With every nearly event that passed I was a step closer to actually doing it. Try to keep that in mind.

It is scary to think about what might happen and if we dwell on those thoughts too much it can prevent us from ever telling anyone and we will remain in the closet forever. Even though we know it's not healthy to be in the closet, it does takes a certain amount of courage to step out.. but let me tell you, I am far from the strongest person and I managed it. For the most part, coming out didn't poison my relationships with the people I loved and cared about.

The thing to remember about coming out is that it might be a shock to people and in the immediacy of the moment they may not react perfectly. We do need to expect that. We have plenty of time to process our own thoughts and feelings about being gay/bi/trans, but other people may be knocked for six by the news. We need to give them time to process their feelings and show a bit of patience and understanding if they don't react with hugs and cuddles. In truth, many people do react well after the initial moment of surprise, but some people need more time.

You are getting there. Stay with us on your journey (a journey is best when it's shared, don't you think?).

 

There were many times for me that it was on the tip of my tongue to tell my parents at the most inappropriate times. I had planned to have a whole sit down conversation with both my parents but I ended up just blurting it out to my mom. I wish I could have told her under better circumstances but at some point you literally cannot keep it in a minute longer.
Your relationship with your dad might change but not necessarily in a bad way. You might find you're even closer now there's no secrets between you. I think the best thing would be to tell him right before you come out and during how much your relationship means to you so he'll want to react well to keep it that way.