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I shouldn't have come out.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by ANewDawn, Jan 25, 2015.

  1. ANewDawn

    Full Member

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    Location:
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    So I sent an email to my younger sister T who's in school abroad telling her that I'm gay. Maybe I should have waited till she came home in the summer but I felt like I had to tell her now for some reason. This morning my older sister calls me and starts chewing me out for telling my T because she doesn't know how to handle it from across the world. Then T called me and was angry that I told her. And I know my mom would be furious if she knew that I had told her. I feel like I screwed up by coming out to T and that I was being selfish by not thinking about how it would affect her. :bang:
     
  2. Rosie

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    The Netherlands
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    So you're family is angry because you shouldn't 'burden' your younger sister, who is mature enough to study abroad, with your sexuality, something you - whether you want it or not - have to live with every single second of every day?

    Yeah, that seems totally fair to me.
     
  3. Really

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    Maybe forget about everyone's anger for the moment and just deal with your sister T. Ask her to read your letter again and put herself in your shoes and think about how hard it was to get to this point and then write that letter and how much you do, in fact, value her evidenced by the fact that you chose her to share this important part of yourself with her.

    Is she genuinely angry or just thrown by the info? She'll obviously need time but don't back down from what you've achieved despite everyone's reactions. You have nothing to blame yourself about.

    And a reaction is just that. Good, bad or indifferent. You cannot possibly know for sure how people will react. The same thing may have happened in the summer, too. You needed to do this when you felt ready. We all know about missed opportunities. You can't overlook the strength of character you showed by doing it on your own timetable.

    I think once T calms down and/or begins to understand your side of things, the others won't have a leg to stand on with their anger.