So recently I've been thinking a lot about coming out. Literally every other thought is me questioning how to come out or if I should come out at all. I figured I should stop hiding behind some lie, since I'm always going to be gay. I certainly don't want to live my entire life pretending to be someone who I'm not. I've decided that I want to come out to my close friends before anyone else. Personally I don't think they will have a problem with it. Here's the problem. I'm not sure how to. I plan to tell my best friend before anyone else since I think he'll be the hardest person to tell, but I really want to get it out of the way before anyone else. I've written a letter/email to him because I think it's going to be the easiest way, but I have no idea if that is the best way. I'm worried that he might find it rude that I didn't tell him to his face. What are your thoughts on this. I want to tell him face to face but I'm unsure of how to bring it up in conversation. I see him nearly everyday so I could tell him this week. Any advice whatsoever would be great! Thanks, Alex
You need to come out the way that's best for you, not the other person. If a letter is the easiest way then go for it. If you want to tell him personally you should probably get him alone and be direct, try not to beat around the bush and make him think you're dying.
When I came out for the first time, it was to a really close friend and I kind of did it in two parts. I spent the night at his house with the intention of telling him so I made sure it was just me coming over. I brought up the topic at his house without actually coming out and then finally gave the confirmation over text once I was at home. Really, like the other person said, it is whatever you feel most comfortable with. If they are really your friend, the method won't matter. I will say however that my one regret is that I was way too emotional and serious about it. It is a huge moment but make it a happy one if possible The second time I came out was to my other close friend and I spelled out "I'm gay" in rainbow colors on Minecraft and then invited him to the map while we were talking over our mics. This came after we were facetiming the night before and he jokingly started asking me. I had fun that time around and it made the occasion a lot more joyous. In the end, it's still your choice. Good luck with everything and congrats on deciding to come out
Hi Alex, there is no right way to come out, only your way. A letter works for many people who might otherwise struggle to find the words and you can find some inspiration here, if you need it: Empty Closets - Coming Out Letters How would you feel about choosing a middle way approach... write the letter, hand it to him and ask him to read it all the way through, but stick around so he can talk to you afterwards. You can explain in your letter why you have chosen such an approach. It might be a good idea to think about some of the questions he/others will ask and consider your answers. It's better to prepare a little and answer confidently - it shows that you have thought about it.
Heyyy, congratulations on reaching this point. I can totally relate to this. When I first came out to friends i took the cowards approach. I messaged them online and anxiously awaited their response. I knew I wanted to tell them first as I wanted someone else on my side to help me figure out how to tell my parents. But I just couldn't bring myself to say it to their faces. Writing things down is a really good way to get all your thoughts out clearly and in a logical manner and it also gives then person receiving it time to digest the information. After I told my friends via online message I asked whether they thought it was rude and they simply answered, no. They told me that it was important to tell people the way I felt comfortable and it was completely fine with them as they managed to empathise and realise how hard it must have been. So what I'm getting at here is there's no real right or wrong way to come out. Just do it in a way and at a time where you feel comfortable and everything will be fine! Good luck!
