So I came out to my mom today. We were just sitting in her room talking and I felt like it was a good time so I was just like "hey mom I have to tell you something." And I told her that I have a girlfriend and that I'm bi. I had been planning on telling her for a few weeks before that, since I fell in love with a girl, and I told myself that if she asked me out I would come out to my mom. She asked me out yesterday, so I did. Her reaction was 100% positive. She's bisexual herself and she's totally cool with me being bi, which I expected. I knew she wouldn't care but I was still really scared to tell her. And even though it went very well, I still feel really weird about telling her. I feel awkward around her now. It's just really weird knowing that she knows now and it's not a secret anymore. Something just feels kind of off about it. Idk. I don't necessarily regret telling her but I'm starting to have second thoughts about it. Maybe I should have waited? But then again I really had no reason to be hiding it because she's very accepting and maybe it's good that I got it over with? I'm not exactly sure what I'm asking in this wow. I guess I just want to know if it was a good decision to tell her. Not that I can take it back, but still.
I've read a few posts recently about people coming out and then feeling varying degrees of "not great". I think it must a bit like buyer's remorse. You pay this huge amount of money for a car or a house and then think, "OMG! What have I done?" You know you need and want that car/house but it's a huge thing. It must be the same here. You wanted to come out and you did and everything was actually great but the whole experience, from the buildup to the telling, was huge and now it's over. Compared to something like parasailing where you might have the same anxious buildup but you get to enjoy the long, slow exhilarating descent and savour the experience. But with something like coming out or buying a house, you don't get that denouement. Once it's happened, it's over. Bam. I'm not sure what the answer is but if someone has one, I'd like to hear it. Try to savour your achievement. Treat yourself to a winter ice cream cone. You, your mom and your girlfriend. Toast your success.
