So I've lived with her for basically my whole life 18 years so far and I love her to death. She's like my 2nd mom if that makes sense? My actual mom hasn't really been around me that much till a couple years ago and I want to come out to her but she doesn't agree with lgbts and I feel like if I did come out to her she'd treat me differently or kick me out or something. I'm possibly over thinking it and nothing will happen but I feel like she'd be disappointed in me or something and that just crushes my heart just thinking of it. I'm tempted to just stay in the closet till she passes but I feel like that's not fair to her or something to not know more about me. I don't want to have her treat me differently or be upset or saddened with me. I'm like her favorite grandson and she thinks of me as a son since I've lived with her and she's taken care of me since I was a baby since my mom wasn't ready to have a child and she is now but me and her husband don't get along so yea. Anyways do you think I should come out? I want to but I also want to see where she stands on the issue of gays but not sure how to go about doing that. Any advice? Do u think she would kick me out? I'd be heartbroken and empty if she did Idk what to do if she did that it'd just tear me apart. Is it weird to feel that way?:help:
I feel your insecurity. I haven't yet come out to anyone in my family, even though my brother kind of knows. Perhaps you should try bringing up topics around equality, such as racial, religious, gender and marriage equality to your grandma, and see her thoughts on them and share your own. Test to see how she is on LGBTQ+ topics while discussing marriage equality perhaps. You can then find out if she is hostile, neutral or supporting. If you want to take it further, you could ask if she would disown anyone including you if you were gay. But only you know your grandma, and if she is shocked if you tell her, understand her social conditioning and the fact that it might be such a surprise. If that is the case, you would need to do some explaining to her about it all, including how it is not a choice, but the way you are. It's not weird to feel the way you do, I feel exactly the same way, even though I know most my family are neutral to supportive on the topic. It's scary, but we all got to live our lives authentically.
