Ok...there's this guy named Tyler, we're pretty good friends, he's in three of my classes. He seems bi to me because he was semi-flirting with me today. Ok anyway...tonight it was my friend's Halloween party and he was there. So we all decide to jump in the pool which was freezing!!!! And he took his shirt off and oh...my...god!:eek: He has a really nice bod for a 14 year old. I recorded a video of it pretending to be texting my mom....(i feel naughty). :eusa_naug We talked sort of...but I want to get to know him a lot better....
Hi there! First off, delete the video. Often people find out one way or another. Should he find out, he might not be amused. Also, you might no longer feel bad or naughty about it. In terms of the crush that you have on him, I think you have already touched on something important. Try to get to know him better and give him the opportunity to get to know you better as well. The more you get to know him, your feelings that you have for him at this point will either get stronger or will weaken. It seems that your feelings for him are based on a few assumptions, including his own sexual orientation. Getting to know him will also (perhaps) allow you to find out as to whether he is bi or not. Once you have an indication, then you could make a decision as to whether you want to come out to him as well and take it from there. If it turns out that he might not be bi or gay, then at least you have made an already exiting friendship stronger. Hope this helps a bit!
People have a habbit of seeing signs and secret messages in trivial actions when they want something/one. Im going to put it bluntly, this is for everyone. If you crush on someone of the same gender and you don't know what their orientation is, despite all the little hints and clues you 'think' you recieving from them, and all the gay/bi stereotypes you 'think' they fit - 9 times our of 10 you're completely wrong and you get hurt. The ABSOLUTE first step has to be telling them your orientation. Otherwise the entire basis of your friendship/relationship and even the 'getting to know you' stage is completely false. Why bother spending time 'getting to know them' for them to freak out 2 months later when you tell them you're bi/gay, or they are actually straight? The longer you get led on, the more it hurts you and the more it freaks out the other person.
In response to what Gumtree mentioned, only tell him, when you feel ready and comfortable with coming out to him. To get to know a person you do not have to disclose your sexual orientation. You are just trying to get to know that person better. There is nothing wrong with that. Does he have to know that you are having a crush on him? No! Remember that crushes are often short lived anyhow... In fact, as you get to know him better, your feelings/assumptions about his sexual orientation will either be validated or they won't. You have to ask yourself if it is worth it to come out to him, or if you would rather get to know him better first before taking that step!
I agree with Asteroid about the video. It won't be so good if he found out about it. Just because he kind of flirts with you doesn't mean he's bi or gay. A lot of straight guys flirt with other straight guys jokingly. You should become better friends with him. It will be your way to find out if he is bi or gay. Don't come out to him until you're perfectly comfortable with him knowing.
Ok, update...I deleted the video and we hung out and watched "Rocky Horror Picture Show" (his choice). I remained pretty cool, and so did we, then we talked then he left... we'll see each other on Tuesday so....
i have new crush too, vampireboy. He's this kid in my gym class that I was recently informed was bi. He started talking to me a couple weeks ago. I'm gonna see where I can get this relationship going. Good luck to the best of us, eh?
You misinterpret sir. I don't mean that he should go up to his guy and introduce himself in the "Hi, im xx and im gay" style. It has to be the first step in the relationship phase - perhaps it's just a personal thing but I would never take a friendship with someone up to an intimate friendship level if I wasn't out to them. I would never flirt with a guy I wasn't out to - or it wasn't obvious.
