A few months ago I came out to my parents and various people in my family as well as my good friends. Everything went surprisingly well and I was so happy until my parents needed to talk to me about it. They told me not to come out or make it obvious that I am a lesbian and (seeing as I am in a serious relationship) they told me not to post any pictures or make my FB relationship with her. They dont want me to because they dont want me to come out to my younger brother. He is a senior in high school and they think that if I come out that people will make fun of him and bother him about it and the quote "dont want to scar him his senior year". I understand that this might effect him in some way but it's like they dont see the message they are sending me. They told me that it is okay to come out after he graduates but I just dont think its fair. I have a beautiful girlfriend and I have never been happier but I cannot share my happiness. It hurts me that because Im in love with a girl, I have to hide still. Their reaction makes me feel like they are ashamed and I think that is what hurts the most. If anyone has any advice or has been in a similar situation I would love to hear.
It sounds like an excuse to me. My brother is younger than yours (Not by much though, he's a high school sophomore) and he knows and doesn't really care. But his friends and I rarely interact anyway so nobody really makes a big deal out of it. I don't like when people have to act like gay love is somehow dirty to children and teens. There are little kids being raised by same-sex parents and while they may be 'different', It's nothing that scars them or harms them. Besides, if he's not being bullied for having a gay relative, he'll be bullied for something else. Everyone gets teased and made fun of. EVERYONE. I wasn't out in high school, but I was bullied for being autistic, liking anime at the time (I don't anymore), being an artist, playing Nintendo games, the way I talked, being too shy, wanting a certain occupation, and more. Even if you're the most normal person in society, kids are still cruel and will tear you apart for something.
I agree with Fallingdown7. You are normal as everyone else, there is no need to hide it, unless YOU want to.
I dont want to hide it and I didnt want to hide it from the start. My brother and my girlfriend get along really well and I genuinely dont think that anyone will say anything to him about it. It just feels like they are ashamed of me because they didnt want me to tell anyone else in my family and keep saying that its a "family decision" not to tell anyone yet. They made the decision not me, and I dont care to hide it but I dont want to disrespect their wishes because they are supportive of me and my girlfriend and they are very very nice to her but at the same time its not right
Tell them calmly that this shouldn't (and isn't) a "family decision", it is a personal decision. It is your girlfriend, it is your life, and you aren't doing anything wrong anyway. Your relationship is totally normal, just like a straight relationship, and you have the right to decide how much you want to expose it, on facebook, for example. Like Falling said, It doesn't need to be an agressive conversation, but, like i said, explain to them why this is your decision to make, not theirs.
